party start dance now

when you’re a gay lion and you accidentally tried to introduce your lesbian lioness friend to one of her own exes at a gay bar and she goes into the bathroom and bitches you out for not being able to tell her endlessly rotating cast of girlfriends apart which isn’t really fair because first of all they all keep dyeing their hair different colors and second of all she keeps getting back together with different ones at different times and meanwhile you’ve been “single” for like 8 months but are spending a lot of time with one specific guy who works at your old co-op and were going to excitedly tell her about it tonight but now you’ve ruined the whole subject of dating by trying to introduce her to her own ex at a gay bar (which is a watering hole. because you’re lions.) 

our clone of former beatles drummer ringo starr who we normally keep locked in our basement but is currently joining us for his allotted 30 minutes of weekly outside time: ringo!

does anyone know any natural hand positions for when you're a guest at someone's house and they won't let you help with something so you have to sit there and watch them and also you're gay and it's your situationship and you've never been to his house before and he's leaving you alone in the room and he definitely will know if your hand position is weird or gay or weird and gay? time sensitive. asking for a friend.

My leftover pasta looked so beautiful in the microwave

I’ll meet you down at the metro station, ‘Cause motherfuckers got the motivation. Now I’m gonna show you how much I love you. Oh, my magazine is full of ugly things. Don’t need the system. We can kill them if we try. Shoot up everything we see. And we’ll find it on the wall. I hope you die.

behold my ugly

not even funny how true this is for me