I’ve done it
Here is the first chapter of: No More Fucks To Give
A fic in which Neil does not care anymore.
Ao3 chapter below the cut.
CHAPTER ONE: GUESS I’LL DIE THEN
Neil forced himself not to shiver as he thought the offer over. The house he squatted in some nights was not heated- obviously. So he was bundled up in all his shirts as he stared at the contract. His mother would kill him, he thought, shaking his head. But, well- he was going to die anyways wasn’t he? There wasn’t an end or an out. It was run until he ended up just like her, except he wouldn’t have someone to burn his body and bury his bones.
No in all likelihood he’d get dragged into the nearest basement. He’d be tortured, killed, and then dismembered. Scattered to the four fucking winds. If he went to the FBI he’d end up dead in custody, if he went to England he’d end up getting roped into joining the mafia- but British this time! And that would eventually end in his brutal demise, maybe he’d get lucky and end up being executed real fast but he'd still be dead. He would defintely be dead within the year if he ran off to play exy with Kevin Fucking Day, but he would get to play exy until he died.
Neil rolled over and stared up at the ceiling. He’d get to play exy, eat regularly, and sleep somewhere with heating- presumably. Not a bad way to spend his last months. And hey, maybe his mother would come back from the dead and kill him herself if he went to Palmetto. Little victories. He sat up and pulled the contract over. He shivered again and then decided. Fuck it. He grabbed a pen and made his way through, sign here, initial here, date here, dot the i, cross the t and boom! He was a dead man.
He set the contract aside and laid back down. Giving up had a lightening effect that he hadn’t accounted for. A giggle crawled its way out of his chest and refused to leave. Almost eight years of running and he’d finally stop. He took out his contacts and went to sleep still laughing.
May ran in fast, Neil stepping out of the airport a recent high school grad before he could really process it. He found his ride, who he quickly deduced firstly as Aaron Minyard and secondly as annoying. Small talk had never really been his forte, especially considering he wasn’t exactly encouraged to speak to people growing up. And Neil hadn’t been getting enough sleep for whatever Aaron was trying to do.
“Do you believe in fate?” Aaron asked, making Neil force down a deep sigh.
“No. Do you?”
“Luck, then,” Aaron said, clearly deciding to be a squirrely bastard.
“Only the bad sort.”
“We’re flattered by your high opinion of us, of course.”
“Likewise, I’m sure.” Neil rolled his eyes, watching as Aaron continued to drive as if he were the one on the run. “This is too nice of a car to wreck, you know. Especially for little old me.”
“Don’t be so afraid to die. If you are, you have no place on our court.”
“I’m not afraid, I’d just like to get in a game or two before I bite the bullet.” Neil answered, seeing no point in lying. Aaron glanced at him before looking back at the road.
“Interesting.” He said, better at driving he did not get.
They fell into what Neil decided was companionable silence, at least more so then whatever the fuck that tedious conversation had been. They finally reached Wymack’s apartment complex. Neil retrieved his duffle and then observed the now four people he had to deal with. The twins were identical, down to their clothes. The only difference being Aaron looking bored now that he wasn’t being weird in the car and Andrew’s chemical grin. Kevin was there, unfortunately. But Neil avoided looking at that particular time bomb. The fourth person being Nicholas Hemmick, who Neil had yet to have the distinct displeasure of meeting.
They exchange ‘pleasantries’ and then head up to the apartment. A spike of anxiety that he had been sure he was past shooting up as Nicky opened the door. He made his way inside, finally putting together the whole haha switcheroo business as apparently everyone but him stole from the coach. Whatever.
“What is this? A robbery in progress?” He asked, gesturing to the bottle of liquor Andrew was holding.
“Maybe it is. Will you tell Coach on us? So much for being a team player. I guess you really are a fox.”
“Last I checked the team played Exy not petty theft?” Neil gestured vaguely.
“Where’s your sense of camaraderie?” Andrew tsked.
“Probably wherever you left your meds,” Neil squinted, “Aaron.” That shut everyone up for a minute. Well for a good thirty-five seconds, give or take.
“Am I crazy? Did I just see that happen?” Nicky asked, in German.
“Don’t look at me,” Aaron said, in fucking German. They spoke German. Now that was a look of surprise Neil had to keep off his place if he wanted any kind of upper hand here.
Neil stared blankly at Andrew. Crowned himself champion of not reacting to his teammates speaking German. Andrew rubbed off his smile and stared back.
“You’re smarter than you look.” He finally said.
“I’m really not, the whole switcheroo thing has been kinda entertaining but I have no interest in mind games. Too dumb for them, so lets just let whatever weird shit you have planned stay unexplored. Yeah?”
“Oh,” Andrew said, “Oh, you might actually turn out to be interesting. For a little while, at least. I don’t think the amusement will last. It never does.”
“Don’t mess with me.”
“Or what?”
“I’ll get annoyed,” Neil shot back as the front door began to rattle.
“Hi Coach,” Andrew called over his shoulder, smile back in place.
“Do you have any idea how much I hate coming home and finding you in my apartment?” Wymack demanded from out of sight.
Aaron and Kevin did the alcohol shuffle as Andrew stepped out into the hall.
“I didn’t break anything this time,” Andrew said.
“I’ll believe that after I’ve checked everything I own.” The door slammed and Coach quickly appeared in his office doorway. He looked over Neil and nodded. “I see you made it all right. I was pretty sure Nicky’s driving was going to get you killed.”
Sense of camaraderie, right?
“I’ve survived worse.” Neil answered honestly.
Neil followed his teammates out with a new set of keys and sans his trusty duffle bag. Everyone collectively decided that the elevator ride was ‘stare at Neil time.’ But Neil kept his eyes on Andrew, clearly the ringleader of whatever the fuck they thought they were. Andrew moved closer reaching for his keys. Neil slipped them into his pocket but otherwise didn’t move. Andrew pushed him back into the elevator door, Neil did nothing to stop him.
“Getting annoyed yet?”
Neil just stared at him, murdering a teammate would probably get him kicked off the team. Probably.
“It will be awhile before we see each other again, don’t want you getting annoyed before the fun really starts now do we.”
“Oh, are you going somewhere?”
Andrew just gestured to his blank face in lieu of responding.
“We’re on strict orders not to break you before the others get here, but don’t worry as soon as all the foxes are back in their hole we’ll throw you a welcoming party you won’t forget.”
“I’m shaking with excitement, you done?” Neil asked. Andrew blinked at him. Neil batted Andrew’s hand off his chest and turned as the elevator doors opened. Of course he couldn’t have a nice time before he died, that’d be too easy. No he had to deal with the blond leprechaun dealing in irritation rather than gold. He stepped out of the elevator, Andrew shoulder checking him as he went past.
Neil started reconsidering the whole murder Andrew subject but before he could come to a consensus they were at the stadium. He stared through the fence, the presence of the court curbing his homicidal thoughts.
“All the orange grows on you,” Nicky promised him, “come on.”
Neil followed Nicky down to a narrow door sealed with an electronic lock. It was also where the others were waiting.
“This is our entrance,” Nicky said. “Code changes every couple months, but Coach always lets us know when it does. Right now it’s 0508-” Neil stopped listening and typed in the code. He opened the door and started inside, he looked over his shoulder and saw them staring at him again. Nicky made an aborted gesture, probably related to whatever he had been going on about.
“What?” He asked. Aaron snorted, Andrew looked unimpressed.
“When’s your birthday?” Nicky asked, possibly for the second time. Neil sighed looking back into the dark hallway that led to the stadium.
“March,” He lied. “Can we go in now?” He didn’t wait for an answer.
“It’s a shame that we missed it, but we did recruit you in like April so really- best present ever. What’d your girlfriend get you?” Nicky continued to speak as they went down the hall.
“What?” Neil asked, turning his keys over in his hand as they stopped before the door marked FOXES.
“Come on, cute face like yours has to have a girlfriend. Unless you swing my way, of course, in which case please tell me now and save me the trouble of having to figure it out.”
Neil turned to Kevin holding the key ring, Kevin pointed to one and Neil turned to open the door.
“I don’t swing either way.” he told Nicky.
“Bullshit,” Nicky responded. Neil figured this would need a delicate touch.
“I don’t swing, I never have and I’m not about to start now. So let it go.” He said before promptly going through the door. That would really resurrect Mary. ‘Swinging’ was not at all worth the pain it would bring him, this however. Neil thought to himself as he entered the locker room, now this was a worthy death. At least more worthy then kisses or existing.
He put the keys back in his pocket, then took them back out again. It was strange, being allowed to be somewhere. Invited even.
He looked around the lounge, appreciating how soft the couches looked. He scanned the photos hanging on the wall, picking out the rest of the team that he’d meet in a few weeks. Then he followed Kevin who pointed out their locker room before continuing on. They stopped in the ‘Foyer’ as Nicky called it. Andrew and Kevin traded around a pill bottle and the whisky they had stolen from Coach. And then Kevin finally pointed out the most important key.
And then Neil was finally there, on court, his hands pressed to plexiglass. He felt something in him settle, this was it. He would definitely still die in a basement somewhere, but at least instead of waiting in some desolate corner of the world he’d wait here. He could hear the ticking clock, the exy ball rebounding off the glass, the bodies slamming into each other, the announcer, the cheering, the crowd. He could hear it all and it sounded like a death march. It was perfect.













