Aerix

She'd like to introduce her to her friend! Four crows for the price of free!

I WILL !!! I WILL DO THAT

some of my favourite indigenous artists, in no particular order:

Inuit artists:

the jerry cans (esp their album Inuusiq)

beatrice deer

twin flames

Māori artists:

jordyn with a why

Indigenous australian artists:

tilly tjala thomas (i particularly love ngai yurlku nhiina)

kardajala kirridarra (srlsly check out ngajabu (Grandmother's Song))

And one of her own:

Oh and of course there's also the HU and Bloodywood for people who like more rock and metal mixed in:

Darkaside is a Papuan metal band

Shepherds Reign is a Samoan metal band

I had to turn this off, but it's something that allows Windows and anyone using your device to generate text/images.

If you are a socially anxious person, you have to socialize. Your panic/anxiety attacks will only get worse and trigger more frequently if you constantly avoid contact with The Public. Not saying that you need to be a social butterfly- but there is a genuine problem with not being able to order your own meal at a restaurant. And it cannot be solved by always having someone else do it for you.

I had an event that I was worried about, where I might have to talk about something that I was struggling to mask my autism about

And I was telling a friend, and she scoffed, saying "just don't be aggy"

And then I admitted what my non-masked response would be

And she was like "oh shit, yeah, that's super aggy"

And I know that

I know that I come across as a bitch when I don't mask

And I've recovered enough that I think I can mask appropriately, but whether or not I stepped back was a reasonable response in this instance

There's no way to learn how the cadence of conversation goes, figure out what questions to ask, and quiet the sirens that go off in your head unless you expose yourself to it. The thing people usually don't include with that piece of advice though is how to start when you're so unused to doing so.

I'm. Not qualified to talk on this really, and it's different for everyone, but I feel obligated to share what helped for me in case it helps anyone else.

Just exposing yourself to public, social spaces can help. Sit in a coffee shop instead of getting to-go, wait on a bench on your way to something else, go on a walk, take a bus if you don't usually. And if you don't typically have places you're already going (e.g. work, school), welp, that's the destination instead of a stop now! If you're sensitive to noise, bring headphones! Bring sunglasses, bring a mobility aid, bring whatever you need to be more comfortable and thus set yourself up for success. You're allowed, it's not cheating!

For the sake of consistency and external motivation, try to find groups and spaces that have recurring meetups about something you're interested in so you can find your people (library, gym, park, club, etc.). Online is a fine place to start honestly, that's what I did. It's infinitely easier to engage when you want and disengage when you're done. Eventually you can transition from messaging to calling if you find people you like, and even irl meetups if you're nearby (obligatory note to be safe and smart about this). I did that along with finding (and pursuing to join, which is a challenge in and of itself) a therapy group that was mostly just a DnD campaign in disguise, but hey, it worked. Being around other anxious people is a great way to make yourself feel more normal.

While I did say there's no way to learn unless you do it, it will still take time. It will still feel bad and wrong, you will continue to have the symptoms you have for a while, and you will still fuck up and say the wrong thing. Frequently even. But it will get better so long as you try, even if it doesn't immediately feel like it. Research is good to help find professional support or advice. So don't be afraid to use resources you find as a jumping off point, but that can't be the end of it. You must jump off. Before you can do anything consistently, there will always be a first time.

Finally, celebrate your wins! If you don't get the happy brain chemicals for completing the shitty thing that's hard? Manufacture that shit. Get a treat, watch something you've been meaning to, play that game you wanted to, allow yourself time to recover. Doesn't matter how hard or easy it is for other people, don't ever beat yourself up for a step in the right direction, no matter how small. If you feel bad about it, plan for next time. Redirect that pain into action or distraction, don't let it stay pointed at yourself, even if that in a backwards way feels better or right. That goes for feeling bad about feeling bad too.

So from then on whenever one of us called something problematic, he would make us talk it out until we could name the “bad” thing we were hinting at. In this particular class, 7/10 it was some type of oppression, and the remainder was like, “I’m uncomfortable because this is very new/confusing/pushing boundaries that made me feel safe.”

Once we stopped calling things “problematic” and stopping at that, class got way more interesting and... we all had to say, like, “that’s racist” or “that’s misogynistic” or “ew capitalism gross” out loud, which a lot of us had never done in a classroom before. Or we had to be like, “Uhhh... I’m not sure what’s so bad?” and confront our own beliefs and that was maybe even more useful.