@actuallyoopid - Tumblr Blog

I love you all, you can all be sexy men.

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poorly-drawn-mdzs

Left for a week and almost missed the historic event of Tumblr Sexyman Final Voting.

cryptim

makingtrouble

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

makingtrouble

Actually I've decided this is a poem

makingtrouble

This is getting notes so let me just say

Himb 💞💝💘💖💞💝

markv5

Вставай, скоро молоко раздавать будут!…

sergeantbabylegs-deactivated201

ranma-official

the translation is significantly more Soviet in tone than the original, which is great

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datasoong47

plumeriyaaa

You wished for this

gyrovagus-bibliophile

Killing Bear with Hammers ❤️

thesummoningdark

The last week has been so ridiculous even the satirists can’t take it any more

the-stray-liger

the fucking timestamp

thesummoningdark

Happy tenth birthday to this post which will apparently haunt my notifications for all eternity.

It’s about Brexit, by the way. The timestamp is a week post-referendum. Newsthump is UK-based and I myself am scottish. And yes, things have 100% got worse since then, but personally I regard the referendum as the point at which we entered the Clownshoes Timeline.

parkchanwoohoo

I subscribed to UNNAMED STREAMING SERVICE a few days ago and gave the login info to all my friends, as one does, but one of them went in and turned on 2-factor authentication and set the phone number to her own cell phone, locking me out of the account

It was an accident and we got it fixed but for a brief moment the betrayal and fury was so great I blacked out and was possessed by the spirit of like a 19th century naval officer, I was pacing around my room like "TO THINK THAT JUDAS HIMSELF NUMBERS HIMSELF AMONG MY COMPATRIOTS"

pupangelremade-deactivated20211

bestiarum

theawkwardqueerturtle

this is the one meme that manages to age like a fine wine

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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coffee-n-kush

not-this-crude-matter

skyrigel

itwashotwestayedinthewater

happy decade to the horrible beast i have wrought

mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026

Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Final Round

Senshi (Dungeon Meshi)

Ryland Grace (Project Hail Mary)

Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune)

Voting ended onJul 20

Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt

#senshi please win #no one has as many panty shots as you

maxwyl

lestat said kill yourself and armand made one of his bandmates jump in front of a train. lestat made fun of armand's sexual performance and past as a child sex slave and armand helped his boyfriend leak a video of lestat having sex with his own mother. you go low he goes to hell hall of fame

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

mothcub

Despite it all.

boredpanda

Japanese Artist Depicts The Typical Life Of His Pet Hamster, And The Result Is Adorable

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