All My Fears Are Mine Again

my scholarly physique and delicate constitution are not well-suited to questing, but they keep me around because i’m very good at saying ominous and unsettling things at significant moments

We need to embrace the fact that the tumblr userbase is aging. What’s everybody’s favorite kitchen appliance?

"based on your likes" and it's the worst post you've ever seen

some of y’all have never been proposed to by the man who ruined, perhaps forever, the happiness of a most beloved sister, and it really shows.

manager i cant come to work today i forgot how to mimic the behavior of a human. being

It’s always “revenge won’t give you back what you lost” and “murder is wrong” and never how was the bloody violent revenge the bloody violent revenge looked fun was it fun

Yeah it was pretty fun, just a lil messy, hang on let me just wash my hands real quick

Oh no

The use of difficulty ratings (easy/medium/hard) rather than levels of firmness (soft/firm/hard) to describe egg yolk viscosity implies the existence of higher difficulties such as "eggs over-legendary" and perhaps even "eggs over-nightmare"

there's like 10,0000,0 accounts with names like "Best Heritage Posts" and "Tumblr Hall Of Fame Posts" and "So Funny Hellsite Posts" but where's the shitty posts accounts. where's the hall of fail accounts. i want to see the worst of the worst

heritage post

come on man