more clothes than muhammad ali

The tip-off phrase is "If [circumstance] was true, then we/I could do [helpful thing.]" This is not a guarantee that the person is offering, but it should tell you "I am being informed of a way to improve things."

Your confirmation phrase is "What documentation would that require?" This is essentially asking them "if people come asking me to prove this, will I be able to? Or will they not come at all?"

The answer you are hoping for with the confirmation phrase is "Just tell me if it's true, and I'll put it on the form." Note that this is not a direct instruction to lie, because they can't tell you that.

If they didn't mean to extend an offer to lie or this is a situation where they can't, then they'll list off something like your paystubs or your birth certificate. Your response back in that case is "Thanks, I'll tell my friends who qualify." This clears you of any concerns that you may have been considering lying.

The more complex answer is when they answer by giving you a form on the spot. Your job, in this case, is to scan the form and see if what they are asking you can be meaningfully verified by an official source.

Things that can be verified by an official source include, but are not limited to, your age, legal sex, income, veteran status, and place of residence. It's not generally a good idea to lie about these on official documents.

*me, thinking about how I quit smoking in 2018 and it is now the year of our lord 2024* "Oh yeah, still working very hard. You know how those cravings can hit."

*please note, how I omitted the truth in the example. I didn't ANNOUNCE it been 6 years SINCE I ALREADY QUIT. I said that I was working hard because cravings are still a thing (6 years later not said out loud). The fact I haven't have a SINGLE one in 4 years [I was Weak during lockdown but could not finish a cig anymore] is irrelevant. The doctor asking me was *nudge nudge wink wink* pointing out that labeling my cig use as "not quite quit yet" would cut some costs on medications.

Sometimes the 'lies' you are being an opportunity to nod along for are just ommissions of truth. Like- still being an active smoker for easier access to other treatments or random pains being worse than YOU personally find them. "If X is true, Y could be an option for you" is a way to allow you to snip off details to make X TECHNICALLY true. They are asking you to be a VAGUE fuck- not a pedantic one. For BOTH of y'all's plausible deniability.

"So these symptoms prevent you from doing [X, Y, Z] activities?"

Even if YOU think you are mildly inconvenienced at best, 'OH YEAH- the generalized fatigue/nagging pain/light headed feeling just makes it so hard to [whatever activity you just find more choresome in those circumstances]!'

I have also had it happen at random coffee shops. Or vape shops.

"How much cash do you have on you? Conveniently this is on sale RIGHT NOW for you for 5 dollars less than that IF it happens to be your birthday. It's your birthday... RIGHT??????"

You all ever seen that scene in the Incredibles where Mr. incredible basically tells this little old lady to get her stuff approved? It’s a cartoonish example of what happens all the time in real life.

You ever seen a cashier conveniently forget to ring up baby formula for a single mother, and then wish her a lovely day?

If somebody does this for you, and you are at any point in a position to give Feedback On Your Experience — no they didn't. Don't tell Yelp, don't tell the customer satisfaction survey, for the love of fuck don't tell their boss, even if you mean it as praise. "Employee was friendly, knowledgeable, and professional" end of review.

It can also be found on Google Drive here and on Bluesky here.

you've seen the jokes. india is "dirty", indians are "everywhere", why don't they fix their own country. ok. let me tell you why, and what's happening right now while nobody's watching.

first, the history you skipped: britain ruled india for two centuries and drained it. economist utsa patnaik's research estimates around $45 trillion in today's money was taken. the india that got independence in 1947 was one of the poorest countries on earth. every "why is india like this" question starts there. you don't get to profit off a robbery and then mock the crime scene.

now, what's happening RIGHT NOW:

in may the question paper for NEET leaked. that's the national medical entrance exam. over 2.2 million students took it. cancelled. years of studying, families' savings poured into coaching, gone overnight because someone sold the paper. students died by suicide after. these were kids who wanted to be doctors.

and out of that came a protest movement. a gen z group called the cockroach janta party, started by a 30 year old named abhijeet dipke, got 22 million instagram followers within DAYS. they've been doing a sit-in at jantar mantar in delhi demanding education minister dharmendra pradhan resign.

and then there's sonam wangchuk. if you've watched 3 idiots, he's the real engineer the character was based on. built solar schools in ladakh. invented ice stupas so himalayan villages have water. spent his whole life on education. he's 59 and he's been on hunger strike for 17+ days now. reporters went to see him this week and he was too weak to talk. and the troll armies are calling him "anti national" and "foreign funded". a man starving himself for other people's children. that's the thing here, anyone who asks a question is suddenly a traitor.

it's not one incident, it's everywhere you look:

• infrastructure worth thousands of crores failing within months of the ribbon cutting. tunnels collapsing in regions where heavy rain is a guarantee, not a surprise.

• youth unemployment near 10% for ages 15 to 29, 13.6% in cities. in a country of 1.42 billion where more than half the population is young.

• only about the top 3% of indians earn above 10 lakh a year. meanwhile billionaire wealth keeps ballooning and the headlines celebrate it.

• manipur burned for over two years. an ethnic conflict, tens of thousands displaced, and the prime minister barely said the word manipur while it happened.

• journalists raided. critics' houses bulldozed. activists sitting in jail for years without trial under laws like UAPA. our press freedom ranking has cratered.

• even the petrol is a fight now, ethanol blending pushed through while drivers complain about their engines and get no straight answers.

and through all of it, the PM, who came to power on religious polarisation (americans, sound familiar?), travels abroad for photo ops and has not held one single open press conference in over a decade. not one.

what i'm asking:

if you're not indian: share this. our media mostly won't cover any of it because the big outlets are owned by the same billionaires the government serves. the only reason wangchuk's fast is getting any coverage is people refusing to look away.

if you ARE indian: speak up even if you're comfortable. especially if you're comfortable. join the protests. add to this, correct me, translate it. staying quiet is a choice when nothing in this post touches your life.

india is not "dirty". india was robbed, and it's being robbed again, from the inside this time. but it's also the country where a 59 year old will starve for strangers' kids and 22 million young people will rally behind a party literally named after cockroaches, because cockroaches survive everything.

we can still save her. but only loudly.

Library Table

There is a continual need for funds to buy food, water, and medicine, but Israel's destruction of infrastructure in Gaza means that jobs are nearly nonexistence.

You can help this family stay alive through genocide by donating via:

GoFundMe

Or via:

venmo (@gothhabiba) paypal (paypal.me/Najia) Cashapp ($NajiaK)

all with note "🍓" or "strawberry"