I Like to Pretend I Know What I'm Doing

As the Ides of March approaches, let us all remember it not as the day Caesar was stabbed a whole bunch, but for what it truly was: the day a group of organized elected representatives killed a sitting unelected dictator.

“we know it takes this amount of explosives to work, but what if we doubled it anyway?”

i dont want a childproofed internet i am almost 30 fucking years old. give your kid an internet safety talk and stop making it the problem of every adult on the planet every time some cryptkeeper legislator gets the brilliant idea (via conservative lobbying) to push through yet another bill gutting our access to free expression + increasing the powers of the surveillance state + lining the pockets of Big Data in the name of Protecting The Kids they wont even feed. this shit is exhausting i can’t believe we’re going to be fighting about it for the rest of my life

there are two competing sects on this website - one that uses the word "spicy" to mean "neurodivergent" and one that uses the word "spicy" to mean "sexual content." i do not like either of them

I use spicy to describe food

my food is mentally ill and I’m putting my dick in it

Twilight

Combine your chinese zodiac and astrology sign to make your true fursona

I'm a pig and a Capricorn. A pig/goat/fish

overheard in the coffee shop from a middle aged gay man to his (female) friend: “are you embarrassed? about being foolish? please manage yourself better in this situation. this man is not behaving as if he is interested in you.”

“he’s evil. like jeff bezos. Do you understand.” and she’s just nodding with eyes downcast in shame

i forgot to add this until now but after the gay guy was done scolding his friend and they left, their table was taken up by an aging european twink telling a wealthy-looking bubbe with increasing distress about how much cold cut meat he’d eaten the night before and the funnier she found it the more distraught he got about his nighttime deli frenzy

he was like [completely unidentifiable european accent] after you went to bed. i ate ze ham. and ze mortadella also… and. also the prosciutto. no stop giggling at me zis is not funny it was 500 grams each. i ate 500 grams of ze ham and 500 grams of ze mortadella and 500 grams of ze prosciutto and that is ONE POINT FIVE KILOGRAMS OF MEAT !! I ate so many meats!!! Stop giggling at me i am going to be fat!!!! I even ate ze cheeses!!!

“I don’t like this song because I can’t relate to it” skill issue. I’m mad at my husband I love my girlfriend I’m a lone cowboy I’m growing old I’m growing up I’m depressed I love my friends I’m perpetually horny I’m drunk at the club I love my husband again

YES

also technology breaks at random, and sometimes you just suddenly feel a thousand years old

Holidays are unusual but important and have very specific rites attached

for context, scientists have know about these mfs for like a HUNDRED YEARS but only now have they actually seen one ALIVE !!

"the world isn't kind" ok??? Much more importantly are you?????

"the world isnt kind" skill issue. I am

if you told diogenes the cynic about being trans he'd be like "lol that's a sick troll you're epic" and you'd be like "diogenes no i'm serious" and he'd be like "lol that's even better lmao those guys are so mad about it" and then he'd start going by new original neopronouns every single day specifically to piss off the whole symposium

Trans Rights With Diogenes! coming to PBS