Can't Sleep, Brain Keeps Screaming

In which you're wide awake; your mind wanders as you lay in Xiao's arms. 

❥ Xiao x gn!reader ₊˚⊹ — additional info: drabble, established relationship

A/N: Wanted to work on other stuff but didn't really have the motivation to,,, I feel like none of this makes sense but it's whatever (not really T-T)

Thump. Thump. Thump. 

You laid still, listening to the steady rhythm of Xiao's heartbeat. You should be asleep, and yet here you are. Wide awake. It was strange; normally, you were the one who fell asleep first. 

But tonight, it seemed the tables had turned. 

You had long suspected that Xiao forced himself to stay awake in order to watch over you. He just couldn't let himself rest until he knew you were safe. You wished he wouldn't worry so much; you were more than capable of looking out for yourself. But you understood his fears of losing you. 

With a past like his, who could blame him? He never said it aloud, but you could tell he thought he didn't deserve you. Not when all he could see was blood when he looked at his hands. In his eyes, he had sinned far too much to be saved. 

Yet, you were there for him all the same; he couldn't understand why. So you would stay by his side until he did. You wanted him to know that you weren't going anywhere. That he deserved to be loved. 

You observed Xiao's face; he looked so peaceful when he slept. It was rare to see him in such a state. He was always on guard, looking out for danger. 

Xiao mumbled something incoherent as he pulled you in closer. You couldn't help but smile; you loved seeing him soft like this. It proved that there was more to him than the weapon he saw himself as. That he was capable of being gentle. It's what made you fall for him in the first place. You just wish he could see that for himself. 

Absentmindedly, you began tracing the markings on his arm. You froze as you felt him stir; you forgot that he was a light sleeper. 

"Is something wrong?" Xiao asked, instantly alert. 

"It's nothing," you murmured. "Go back to sleep, Xiao."

He narrowed his eyes. "Why are you still awake?"

"Just couldn't sleep is all. Don't worry about it," you whispered. 

"Is something troubling you?" 

You shook your head. "I'm fine."

"Then-"

You shushed him. "No more questions. Let's just sleep."

"Fine," Xiao conceded. 

You closed your eyes, hoping he would follow. "Goodnight, my love."

Xiao stiffened; he still wasn't used to your terms of endearment when referring to him. 

"Goodnight," he replied after composing himself. 

Xiao laid there in silence long after you had fallen asleep, contemplating your reasons for loving him. 

mom's minion memes for real justice