What am I being arrested for? Enjoying a succulent Chinese meal?

when freud said bisexuality is what happens when you dont fully develop a brain he was right and im proof

Freud is a lil bitch, my idiocy doesn’t have nothing to do with bisexuality and all to do with my own hubris

ever wanna raise an emotionally sound child just to flex on your parents ?

Me, sick and adding honey to every drink: please heal me I beg you bee juice

@ people who just leave their shopping carts around the parking lot instead of returning them to their designated return areas: who fuckin raised you

i hate how reward systems never work for me like i can’t just say “if i finish this assignment i can have a cookie” bc my brain is like “…..or u could just have one right now” and i can’t argue with that logic

Self-imposed deadlines don’t work either because I know the guy who set them and he’s full of shit

phone games blocking out your clock in the UI is like how casinos don’t have any windows send tweet

uhh reblog this w your sign and wether or not your phone screen is cracked

you ever take a shower just to flex on post malone

Explains why I’m so fucking stupid

no, not like ‘stupid’ brain damage. your emotions become so stressful your brain starts getting a little numb to them. you start experiencing higher rates of apathy. you can also have further trouble with memory and problem-solving.

That Explains Why I’m So Fucking Stupid

eats a peanut before i suck ur dick so my throat closes and creates a tighter grip

do you take constructive criticism on your posts?

there is absolutely nothing to critique here

my moms making fun of me bc i saw a spider in the kitchen and like jumped back and said “oh fuck a bastard” dude caught me off guard