I wasn’t built to be employed. I need to stay up until 4 am like a normal person

i got that dog in me but it's poorly socialized and i don't take it on as many walks as i should

I have GOT to stop spending $30

why are women so terrible?

tfw ur offended by a sad frog meme

IM SCREAMING

Stoppppppp

it’s time we start oppressing ppl that use the word “hubby”

sorry but “Hubble Space Telescope” takes too long to say

we all need to fuck

you tell me this the day after i trade my penis in at gamestop

When the referee just realized you made an illegal move

there were better ways to do this. those signs do come off

they actually grow back when you try to do that though. like lizard tails.