I started this and now I have to finish it! @9-punk - Tumblr Blog

[alt; userbox reads "This 9 fictive is obsessed with their source please let them ramble about it"]

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fishstarrz

Meme chan is such a cutie pie!!

victusinveritas

On May 5 2026 an 18 year old Maui resident named Kaylee Schnitzer filmed a tourist picking up a coconut sized rock and hurling it directly at the head of an endangered Hawaiian monk seal named Lani on Front Street in Lahaina. Lani has been a fixture on that beach for over 20 years.

When bystanders confronted the man he said "I don't care. I'm rich. Fine me with whatever you want."

The video went viral within hours. The internet identified him before the day was out. His logistics company pulled down all its social media as his personal information spread across every platform.

Then a second video emerged showing what appeared to be the man getting beaten by locals. Maui police had no record of any assault report. The mayor effectively endorsed it, saying he wanted to thank everyone who stepped in.

A Hawaii state senator named Brenton Awa then walked to the floor of the state capitol, smirked and announced that the local who delivered the beating would receive an official letter of recommendation. His attorney stood beside him and said they did not condone violence. Awa then called on all airlines flying into Hawaii to play footage of the beating as a warning to tourists before landing. That video has 1.5 million likes.

Federal Senator Brian Schatz wrote a formal letter to NOAA demanding stronger enforcement and education for visitors.

The man faces fines of up to $50,000 and criminal charges carrying up to five years in prison under state law. He has not been charged yet.

Lani has been spotted in the area since. She appears to be fine.

gummysharkluver

Ice cream baby

sealsandlacenet

could this be a crab…? seal..?? i don’t know what to believe anymore…

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phillip-bankss

grug dont have to change!

infernalifrit-deactivated202605

do not inspect my favourite characters too closely, i swear it will tell you nothing about me. i pinky promise

sycamorality

kittysnail-sadweasel

if any of you guys psychoanalyze me based on my blorbos please tell me what you think because it would go hard

dogpuppy

squirrelly-13

they got married btw

visit-me-here-in-wonderland

oh you’re not kidding

cleo-fox

Writing tips:

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets

maple-seed

Both options convey that he's horny

cleo-fox

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

theomnipotentfox

If it's the snack chip he might just be corny.

elfstrogenized

You are perma tf'd into the first pokemon you generate on this website, how happy are you wit your new form

dreamyfreakout

hell yea..

nathalia-sod

Yeahokaysure!

modmad

I mean for a cartoonist this is pretty much ideal

#GUZZLORD!?!?!#HELLO????

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cheaphalloweencostume

balls boance

isawken

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

quank

happy pride month to my favorite piece of official sonic the hedgehog art

puyopuyo

3000s

ocd will have me thinking i cant text "here now if you wanna head over" because i sound like blowjob mario with a walkie talkie

3000s

nobody thinks this way, you are a broken person

singlethread

Y’all making women in their thirties feel old is my villain origin story actually

lily-orchard

ARE YOU AN ELF?!

peachtea20

Questionable math but thirty IS young.

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