AAAUUUUGHHH

no more dichotomies. I would like to introduce you to my friends Both, Neither, and Something else entirely

also my friend Sneither, who also cannot be organized into any single category

this is my favorite comic ever i never don’t want to see it on my dash

the prince has begun practicing curtseying in the mirror. which could mean nothing.

we have good news and bad news, my liege. the good news is that we now know what that curtsying was about: you will be pleased to know that, after several heartfelt conversations between your child, the court jesters and a myriad of singing woodland creatures, you are now the parent of a proud and joyful new princess. the bad news is that, due to a series of events related to the dragon-sized hole in her bedchamber wall,

pretty sure you’re literally the only person who understood my vision on this accursed post

For these who don’t know: The restaurant she worked at closed down but she left before that and opened her own bakery, that’s apparently very successful!

She has a youtube channel where she shares recipes and cooking advice!

Yep, I'm a city slicker. Wake up one morning and your city's all slick? That was me.

You listen to music regularly? Why? Have you even tried quitting? Could you quit? You get music stuck in your head? Wow. You're so ruined and music brained. I bet you make your partners listen to music with you when you have sex. Music addiction has really ruined a whole generation. You know it's not realistic to expect reverb in real life, right? You're probably so desensitized that you don't even feel anything anymore when you hear a bird singing that it wants some fuck.

what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs

i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names

my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them

Nobody gaf about your eggs if you dont lay an egg with a dope pattern

learning to notice an absence of people of color is crazy. you start seeing it everywhere. ill see a random pic of characters or people or whatever and be like "these are all white people. why"

all the babies in those baby youtube video memes. humanized character posts. like. its the little innocent shit. and like, the people making those baby memes probably arent seeking out white babies. maybe theyre just easier to find. but why are they easier to find? a complicated question, surely... but you know what it probably comes down to. someone, somewhere, maybe a lot of someones in a lot of places, made a choice. maybe knowingly, maybe not. but they made a choice. it starts to make you feel like a conspiracy theorist!!

its really funny that after 2 months this post is still making racists come into my askbox treating me like im a horrible person for pointing out that sometimes people of color are excluded from things in visible and offputting ways. cry about it

8. into biting?

9. i belong in a beautiful ancient castle

I wrote a poem based on this once…