I am just a buffalo, puttering along

It would be a shame if the number and email were spread to bad actors looking to prank call the AZ Department of Education

602-771-3500 or empower @ azed .gov 🤡

Anonymous said:

Could you please do a clip of Team Rocket using insults that are a lot heavier than “twerp”?

YEAH YOU FUCKHEAD!

woah meowth that’s going a little overboar-

EAT SHIT AND D  I    E 

It would be a shame if the number and email were spread to bad actors looking to prank call the AZ Department of Education

602-771-3500 or empower @ azed .gov 🤡

Lithobraking, therefore, is coined by analogy, with “litho-” being the greek root for “stone”. It’s how you slow your spaceship down… by crashing it into the fucking ground. 

So a crashed rocket “executed a lithobraking maneuver”.

There’s also “Engine rich exhaust”, which is what happens when your rocket engine starts breaking apart and bits of machinery are burning along with the fuel that’s supposed to be burning. 

A more technical term is “Negative periapsis”. Orbits have a periapsis and an apoapsis, the lowest and highest altitude they reach each orbit. A negative periapsis, therefore, is a negative altitude. Your rocket hit the ground. 

Well, Missouri has one, only it's for reporting transgender concerns.

most times, I advise against sending obviously fake things because they can just filter it. but submitting things that seem plausible, even if they are completely fake, will be used as a reason to actively harm us. because these people don't care whether or not they're telling the truth.

so don't make up believable stories. instead just spam them with copypastas until your email gets blacklisted. then get a new email and spam them again.

edit: new information has revealed that any submissions to this website, even jokes, will be used to harm and even kill trans people. they don't care if their submissions are true or not. they don't even care if all of their submissions are just joker beatboxxing. from what I can gather, if they can't find any actual submissions to use as evidence to be transphobic, they will probably use the total number of submissions as "evidence" that trans people are a threat (and leave out the part 99.999% of the submissions are just the youtube link to rickroll)

is your favorite character.....incapable of being even a little bit normal?

do you think they should hold the official title of "least normal"? well without further ado, i present to you

the unofficial official tournament to decide once and for all which character is the least normal.

nominations will be open until the 25th, may vary depending on the amount of nominations.

rules:

no real people. unless it's REALLY fucking funny.

please be civil. the block button is my best friend.

for the love of god no hp characters. that's my only guideline on characters.

be as not-normal as possible. embody the spirit of the normal wars. propaganda will be welcome once the bracket is completed!

Victim's murder was witnessed by her pet snake, whose tank was in the room. Unfortunately pet snake is incapable of describing the world around them except in terms of 'rocks' and 'meat', with their descriptions of individual forms of 'meat' focusing almost entirely on body temperature and smell.

(Solved when it turns out that their description of 'warm-cold meat with rock' was actually an attempt to describe a suspect with a prosthetic limb, which is pretty unnoticeable to a human, but looks dramatically different in infrared.)

Murder at a honey farm. Each witness managed to see about ~0.06% of the full crime, in order to get the full picture, you have to get them to swarm.

Victim was found several days after death, already crawling with maggots. Days into the investigation, protag begins a frantic search to find any surviving maggots/flies that were on the corpse, after realising that how the victim tasted would give vital information about the poison used.

Also there's at least one or two animals who actually do talk in full sentences and in terms humans can understand, and the reason behind this is never fully explained.

All cats in this universe talk in terms of 'mine/not-mine' and mainly focus on territory, mates and food, with the one exception of the main character's cat who is named Watson and knows how to use sarcasm.

so, let’s see if i can explain this the same way that i learned. read a sentence out loud. you come to a full stop when you hit the period, and you take a normal, breath. but, when you hit a comma, you take a slightly longer pause. and when you hit a dash - you take an even longer pause. 

this is a natural rhythm that we pick up when we’re first taught to read; we do it without even thinking. but when you start to think about it, you realize that it can become a tool.

think of your heartbeat. a period is badump. a comma is badump-dump. and a dash is thump badump. one breath. a longer breath. two breaths.

that means what you read automatically affects the rhythm of your breathing and your heartrate. which means that you can control the amount of physical tension your reader feels… by altering your punction and your sentence structure.

for fast paced scenes, you use short sentences. a lot of hard stops. mostly periods, with just a few comma’s thrown in for the full breath. your reader’s heartrate accelerates. their breathing is slightly and unintentionally, on their end, quicker. you hit the dramatic ending of the scene - and your reader’s body phsyically feels the gasp, the breath of fresh air, of these longer sentences.

now, read that paragraph again ant take note of your natural pauses, and how it subtly affects your breathing. 

the same thing can be said of comma’s and dashes. while they can be used as a breath of fresh air, they can also cause a new line of tension as they lead your reader to hold their breath. during this section, you should use longer sentences; breaking up the harshness of the pauses by using variations of punction. read this paragraph out loud from the start and take note of how long you go between pauses and full breaths. 

and then, comes the biggest trick.

the hard stop.

the paragraph.

because while the periods, commas, and dashes are variations on a short stop, the paragraph is a hard stop. you take a full breath. you pause for a moment, then move to the start of the next paragraph.

which means you can create an entirely new sort of dramatic tension. read the sentences that are in bold. see how you take a naturally longer pause at the end of each paragraph?

see how it makes you feel? 

how it makes you breath different? 

how doing it once, twice, or three times creates a different line of tension? 

this little magic trick can be used to cause a reader’s heartrate to speed up during a fight or chase scene. it can be used to cause their breathing to slow down during moments of dramatic tension, sorrow, or softness. and it can be used to create hard breaks that add a new level of physically felt emphasis to your written work.