This Dan Piraro comic always makes me cry.
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@5n0w1ng
This Dan Piraro comic always makes me cry.

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I keep trying to like red wine like a grown-up but like … it’s rotten grapes, guys. You can drink things that don’t taste like rotten grapes. Why
Okay I don’t know when this post is from (I came across it stalking multiple blogs). But in case this might help, here is a brief science/wine lesson.
To start off, some facts:
-White wine is made from sweet pulp inside of the grape (minus the seeds).
-Red wine is made from both the skin and the grape (and the seeds and stems…sometimes? Can’t remember).
-Tannin is the substance found in red wines, coffee, dark chocolate. Tannins are responsible for the bitter taste in those foods.
-Tannins are found in the skin of the grape, as well as the seeds and the stems. Therefore, most red wines will have tannins, versus most whites will not have tannins.
-Red wines vary in level of tannins, depending on variety of grape, climate, and fermentation process. Pinot noir tends to be very low tannin. Shiraz/Syrah, choice of poison for our beloved brunette surgeon, is very heavy on the tannins.
-Some white wines (most commonly Chardonnay) are aged in oak barrels instead of metal containers. Oak barrels have tannins, which seeps into the wine during the fermentation process. That’s why Chardonnays tend to be “drier” aka it has tannins.
-White wines like Sauvingnon Blancs are usually fermented in steel barrels (aka no tannins. Aka usually very fruity and light and sweet).
Your ability to taste tannins is genetic.
There is a genetic marker determining whether your taste cells are sensitive to tannins.
Basically two people can drink the exact same wine and have wildly different reactions because: 1. Person A can’t taste tannins, so they taste the actual wine flavor. 2. Person B can taste tannins, and that tends to overpower ALL the other flavors in the wine. Basically all they taste is tannins and none of the wine.
I am super tannin sensitive, so if I drink a wine like Cabernet Sauvignon (very tannin heavy, aka “very dry”, it tastes like bitter ethanol alcohol to me, whereas my best friend can’t taste tannins so the same wine is maybe a little bitter but they can actually taste the grape and different flavors. To her, a wine like Sauv Blanc is too sweet, tastes like sugar water. But to me it tastes good.
So unless it’s the taste of the alcohol or all wines you hate, chances are you might hate the taste of red wine, especially the heavier red wines, because taste the tannin overpowers everything else. And all you taste is bitter bitter ethanol bitter more ethanol.
More tannin info: -Tannins bind to fat.
-This is why tannin heavy wines are recommended with fatty foods (Shiraz and steak). Whenever you eat food with high fat content, the fat builds up on your tongue. A sip of red wine will bind with the fat on your tongue and clear it away. That’s why the sip of wine between bites of fat heavy foods is considered a palate cleanser.
-By that logic, this is why white wines are recommended with low fat foods, like fish. Salmon is fattier than most fish, which is why Chardonnay (tannin heavy white wine) or Pinot Noir (low tannin red wine) is recommended with salmon.
-People who are sensitive to tannins can drink tannin heavy red wines with fatty food and generally the wine won’t taste gross. The fat on your tongue (from that steak) will bind with the tannin and neutralize the tannin taste. Aka the only time I ever drink Cabernet Sauvignon or Shiraz is with a steak or heavy, creamy pasta. Aka never bc I don’t often eat either.
-The reason dairy helps coffee taste better is because the fat in milk/creams binds with the tannins in coffee and neutralizes the bitter taste. This is why people who can’t taste tannins can generally drink coffee black without milk (sugar is a different story). It’s also why almond milk in coffee is the worst idea (almond milk is already bitter and has no fat).
More wine facts: -90% of the “aromas” of wine are marketing BS
-You know the labels that say like “cherry with a hint of blackberry?” There’s no real way to infuse cherry or blackberry into grape wine without screwing with the fermentation process. It’s all created by the wine marketing industry to sell you win. Sometimes if you smell cherry before you drink the wine, you might taste it in the wine (because majority of flavor comes from smell). Or if you think there is cherry flavor in the wine, your brain can trick your taste buds into tasting it.
-The only true flavors found in real grape wine are grapes (obviously), oak/earthy flavor (the barrels), vanilla (barrels, oak sticks), tannins. (There are a few others but can’t remember. I think maybe cinnamon?).
-People’s perception of wine often affect how good it tastes to them. Social psychology studies show that people will rate the exact same wine differently if they’re told the wines are different in price. (They rated the more expensive wine as tastier).
tl;dr Whether you can taste tannins is genetic. Exact same wines taste different for different people depending on your genetic makeup. If you’re sensitive to tannins, red wines won’t taste like anything other than bitter alcohol. Genetics/tannins are why people generally have preferences for red or whites.
this is extremely informative and i have learned a thing about myself, which is that i CLEARLY inherited the tannin-tasting genes from my teatotaling mother and not from my dad who subsists entirely on espresso and cabernet sauvignon.
I suddenly understand why my goddad can drink black coffee and those wretched tasting dry wines and think they taste good.
Black tea also has tannins, so if you - like me - need to drink it with cream and don’t brew it nearly as long as tea aficionados say in scandalized tones you ought to, because otherwise it’s too bitter, you uh. might be sensitive to tannins.
I think that dark roast coffee has more tannins than light roast; I know for certain it requires a good deal more cream/milk to balance out the bitter/burnt taste.
How it feels when someone prevs you
do NOT let my cousin drive
@jared-wormsboy i am crying uncontrollably
I reference this in conversation sometimes assuming everyone knows about the Owl Attack Sex Playlist and i look fucking unhinged

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“I wish I was more powerful, like you guys. Even casting fireball takes it right out of me some days.”
“Hey, none of that. You're a valued member of the team, no matter what your power level.”
“I just don't understand how you can tear open that portal to the fire dimension so easily.”
“… fire dimension?”
“Yeah. Where the fire lives. Before you summon it. For fireballs.”
“Dude. We've been creating explosions by igniting flammable gases in the air. What the fuck have you been doing?”
How is it that you can a music library of like 1,200+ absolute bangers but as soon as you put it on shuffle in a group setting it's like. anime opening you added in 2010. homestuck parody song. musical artist who was cancelled last year for kidnapping and eating children in his basement. Hamilton
I can't believe some people are actually reblogging this like "Tch. Omg, so embarrassing OP, I can't believe you would ever admit to liking Hamilton 😏 " like ok, first of all congratulations for hatching as a fully formed adult in 2022 from the pure white egg of a virgin swan i guess. Raised in a cave on a diet consisting solely of nuts and berries and leftist twitter clapbacks. "ooooooh, I've never had a complicated relationship with a piece of art that was phenomenally well-received at the time but aged like milk as later reflection revealed the fundamental flaws in its premise that were in fact present from its inception but which I didn't notice because I was 17 and hadn't heard of neoliberalism yet" Should we throw a party? Should we invite Anthony Fantano? Anyway second of all. you draw the line at Lin Manuel Miranda but you're fine with basement guy?
✦ ✦ ✦
1970’s Silk Organza Evening Dress by Ruben Panis
Was looking this up and found the following information:
"Panis was a celebrated Filipino couture designer who dressed glamorous celebrities like Zsa Zsa Gabor and Liz Taylor. Panis’ career was tragically cut short when he was murdered in 1989 by serial killer Juan Chavez."
😶

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they're making the omelas child go to therapy so it can learn about interpersonal accountability and realize the impact that its confusing and antisocial behavior has on the people around it
it’s too early for this
oks
me and the boys, felsírtam
tegnapról
Flags Mashup Bot is really out here trying to start World War III
UPDATES
My fav part is that it is genuinely just a bot. All it does is take two countries, puts the 2nd country's colours on the 1st country's flag and mixes their names together.
Literally the only other thing behind it is that the bot weights picking the second country based on how close they are to the first, and basic geography + history means that's also where you're going to get the most aggressive relations. This isn't some guy trolling by making things specifically to piss people off, it's some guy who likes flags going "wouldn't it be fun to mix flags together, let's write a bot for that" and accidentally creating a whole meme culture of "days since flag mashup bot last tried to start WW3 = 0" and the like.
no more mafia aus because theyre corny but if you HAVE to make one binghe should be trying his best to hide from shen yuan the fact that hes a mob boss and taking sy out to lavish restaurants and buying him specially bred flowers that cost $10k and shen yuan on their very first date was like "hes being super vague about where he works, has lots of money, and knows shang qinghua he must be in the mob."
binghe: what if.... i wasnt as good a person as you think? would you still spend time with me, yuan ge? sorry just forget i said that...
shen yuan, who knows very well binghe killed a man last night: how could that be?? my binghe is the sweetest <3
You guys are so right
"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

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the mythbusters once tested "herding cats" and at one point they brought in a proper trained herding dog and the poor dogs face when the first cat responds to his herding with swipes and aggression is to look at her human and go 😰 the sheep is broken?? what do i do boss??
@greatandholypangolin you cannot leave this in the tags
hard cider was invented when someone decided to make beer that tastes good instead of bad
stupid fuckin post. People have been making beer since before they even knew how to write and you think that they don’t like the way it tastes?
damn all that time and it still tastes really bad. huge L tbh