I know it’s lame and stupid to be mad at a band for changing lead singers, especially with Three Days Grace since Adam needed to get better and needed a change.

I may be shooting myself in the foot with this, but I think I finally found someone nice. He (so far) isn’t ashamed of me. He doesn’t care if I do stupid cute things for him. He let’s me be affectionate and kiss him at work. We joke about stupid things and none of our dynamic has changed so far, besides adding the option to be more physically affectionate. He doesn’t pressure me. He let’s me take things at my own pace. He helped calm me down from a panic attack and random crying. He does stupid cute shit for me too. He doesn’t mind texting me and that’s fun too. He actually wants to take things slow and is okay with the potential for a real relationship rather than a fuck buddies or friends with benefits situation. He doesn’t need to know my bad stuff in my past, but he’s willing to listen when the time is right. He’s up for being open and honest about things and, so far, is being straight up with me. I know things can’t and won’t stay this nice forever, but I’ve honestly never known what a “honeymoon phase” felt like. And it’s really nice. And because I’m so used to bullshit and shitty relationships, once it’s over I won’t be disappointed. That’ll just bring me back to my norm. But right now it is really nice and I’m just wanting to enjoy it to the fullest while it’s still around. For once I’m not scared of saying or doing the wrong thing. At least not as much as I usually am. I still check in with him in case I step on some unknown eggshell like I normally do, but so far he is really chill with everything. Maybe I’ll be able to keep that around for a little while longer. Now I get why there are so many movies about couples I always cringe at and think are just too goddamn sappy and sweet. Obviously it can’t last, but why rain on their parade while they have it going? It’s nice. It’s sweet. I know it’s the worst thing to see when it’s not yours, and it’s not even something I want all the time, but I think it’s better to be happy for them in the moment, at the very least, than to resent them for something that will still go away in the long run. So I’m the most thankful to whatever or whoever I should be thanking for giving me this chance to see the other side of things and that it at least has the potential to actually exist. And maybe it’s easier for me because I DO know it’ll end and can’t go on forever. But that just makes me cherish this time I do get even more. So if you have it, hold onto it so tightly and make the most of it. And if you haven’t experienced it yet, just know it IS out there somewhere. It’s not impossible, even if it seems like it. There are so many people in the world. Supposedly there are about thirty people in it that are your soulmate. So just do your best in whatever you do, and one day they will find you too. It may not always be the nicest road to reaching them, and they may not stay forever, but it’s important to make the most of the time you do get with them when it’s there. 

Conversation on the Bus Today