Land of Serenity and Trust

Girls (holding hands): (in unison) Communication.

aunt peridot meets a baby

This took way too long to make for it to only be one minute yet here we are

ME3, is essentially a story of one woman’s insane quest to save the asses of as many “competent and important” men as possible.

Are you sitting comfortably? Shall we begin? 

1. 

General Corinthus: “Shepard, Shepard we can’t fix this antenna thingy! HALP?“ 

Shepard: *sigh* “Yes General of the entire fucking Turian Hierarchy, I will help with DIY" 

*later* 

Garrus: "Oh hey Shepard! Glad you popped by and were able to fix that tower!" 

Shepard: *growls* "Garrus you were here all this time?!?!? And the comm tower wanted calibration?!?!? AND YET I STILL HAD TO GO?!?!?!" 

2. 

Wrex: "SHEPURD! The Salarian and the Turian are being mean”

Primarch Victus: “Hey, he started it!" 

Shepard: *rage* "You are two grown ass men! SORT IT OUT!" 

Wrex: "But Shepurd :(”

Primarch Victus: “Yeah Shepard, I’ll tell on you to Garrus. He won’t be your friend any more!" 

Shepard: "We’re married you asshat! But fine lets me help you through this difficult relationship you two are having! If it shuts you the hell up”

3.

Primarch Victus: “Shepard, my son, the son of the Primarch of Palaven that is, got his ass handed to him for trying to be clever. Do you mind popping off? Could do with a hand down there." 

Shepard: "And you can’t send the Blackwatch or something because…?”

Primarch Victus: “Reasons”

4.

Wrex; “SHEPURD! Your son in in danger!" 

Shepard: "GRUNT NO! NOT MY BABY!… Though on second thought he is like 10 times my size and strength… Really?" 

Wrex: SHEPURD!

5. 

Wrex & Co: "SHEPURD! We can’t decide what to eat for lunch, Mordin’s liver or eyes?" 

*Bakara and Shepard synch die on the inside* 

Shepard: "Wrex and other fellow idiots. GENOPHAGE TO CURE! Move it! Lunch can wait" 

6.

Shepard: "In one fell swoop, I’ve just saved the Salarian Councilor from being made into a pin cushion, Commander Bailey from looking incompetent as fuck, saved the Citadel single handedly and stopped Kaidan from putting a foot in his mouth… Asari Councilmember person, can I have some troops?" 

Councillor Tevos: "Hell no, you have to earn it" 

7. 

*Quarians arrive on the Normandy* 

Shepard: "Let me guess Admirals, some important King of Quarians got himself marooned somewhere so I have to go get him or else we all fail?" 

Admiral Raan: "So insightful commander how did you know?"