dbecher @dbecher - Tumblr Blog

gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me

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thethirdromana

The worst types of cookbook:

The Ottolenghi - it is vital that you use 1g of this very expensive ingredient. It comes from a 500g bag with a one-week shelf life.

The time machine - 15-minute recipe! First, leave to marinate overnight...

The dishwasher - one-pot recipe! Now decant your ingredients and wipe out your pot. And again. And again. And again.

The optimist - cook the onions until caramelised (2 minutes).

The kindergarten teacher - get one nommable little tree of broccoli and bosh that into boiling water. Delish!

The brand names only - ingredients: Ritz crackers, Philadelphia cheese, Cool Whip, orange Jell-o...

The 1950s palate - use one (1) clove of garlic and a small pinch of chili flakes (omit if preferred).

The why bother with a cookbook - to make beans on toast, gently heat a tin of beans and put on top of freshly buttered toast.

peniswakt-deactivated20210717

yeah no offense to confucius or anything but if i was about to embark on a journey of revenge i would simply not dig two graves

peniswakt-deactivated20210717

jesus christ, getting laid in your enemy's grave? that's some freak shit but honestly i kinda dig it

flagellant

well yeah you dig it thats how you make a grave

gwydionmisha

A feel like this is a conversation between Shakespeare's clowns, and I love that.

inthefallofasparrow

phantomrose96

God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers and I'm dodging the draft

phantomrose96

hang on I gotta look something up.

i-suggest-vore

DW I know that one from heart if you need an explanation

phantomrose96

Thanks tumblr user i-suggest-vore. I can always count on you for theological literacy wait is there a different reason you like this story

blowery

source, unknown.

wash your lettuce

blowery

Sadly, I have an update. Michigan is having a rough go of it right now.

#I don't wanna brag too much but I got the diarrhea lettuce weeks ago before it was popular

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monchursouls

🌾🌾🌾

Harvesting my wheat

rat-in-the-grain

Hehehehehe

monchursouls

Can I fucking help you?

sasuke-offical

my senior english teacher told me that any scene with a woman in a cornfield in every piece of literature ever is about her journey to womanhood/pleasuring herself in the field and i just.... believed her

What

What

Where's that tweet about how American chants are "let's go [team name] and some other country (Irish?) fans are "I've made up a song about the other team's drinking problem to the tune of London Bridge Is Falling Down one two three"?

reblogs were off

men and women are not opposites. men and women are not enemies. men and women are two parts of a broad coalition which fights against a mutual enemy: inkjet printers

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cornedbeefhashtags

Diane, clear my schedule. I’m attempting a recipe that says “prep time: 15 minutes.”

dingdongyouarewrong

i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.

averagejoey2000

dingdongyouarewrong

well damn . egg on my face

dingdongyouarewrong

THE PLOT THICKENS @averagejoey2000 explain yourself

averagejoey2000

I can't believe this is how I'm finding out that I got a scam forklift cert.

I took the cargo ops class at school but my teacher explained that it doesn't give a certification and I'd only be okay for ship's crane and the school forklifts. she said I could take an online exam and get my cert. I paid 60 bucks.

I'm googling and I'm seeing a lot of resources saying that the online programs cover the classroom part of the exam but not the in person practical aspect.

29 CFR 1910.178 (l)(2)(ii)

but I did the in person practical shit at school.

averagejoey2000

the back of the card even had fancy numbers on it. I couldn't have known that this isn't the one. this website sounded more official than certifyme.net, and there wasn't one with a .gov address.

averagejoey2000

so, I emailed OSHA, and they said that so long as I live and work in California, there's no such thing as forklift certification. I have to be told how to do it every time I get the job.

averagejoey2000

Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.

nickdouglas

This fucking site

effemimaniac

sorry for the delay in responding to your message. I was walking around the house with unclear intentions

my-dailydreams

geckyjuno

my bedsheet is pregnant and it's. the rest of my laundry

muppetyaoi

another one for the collection, gang.

junewild

i do have to add

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8nin

"There's millions of Tumblr users" to you. To me There's only about 12 and we all reblog the same five posts from each other

orphetoon

the sweet and humble sudoku: here’s some numbers to get you started :) please enjoy my puzzle <3

the nefarious minesweeper: why don’t you just Guess. fucking Guess.

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