mental illness blogging

"so what do you like to do in your free time?"

'I do like things'

"what is your favourite colour?"

Examples: choosing to be alone leads to not bothering to maintain hygiene (since no one's around to see you); flat / cold emotional affect leads to conflicts at work, etc.

Examples and explanation of symptoms from the DSM-5-TR:

There are shippers of the most disgusting ship out there that will send you death threats over what they perceive to be the most disgusting ship out there.

There are people that mostly ship the fluffy fandom favorites that are absolutely disgusted by this new wave of fandom bullying.

There are people who enjoy toxic ships but get squicked out when people portray the same ships in a more healthy manner.

There are people who are only comfortable consuming certain types of problematic content.

There are people who are legitimately triggered by a fucked up ship, but don't have any beef with the shippers.

There are people who believe that shipping fucked up ships is not okay, but that sending death threats over it is even worse!

Fiction doesn’t affect reality, fiction affects people. That’s the point of art. It’s supposed to create an effect, make you feel something. If you’re afraid how fiction will make people feel, then you’re not afraid of fiction. You’re afraid of people having the power to possibly cause harm.

It’s a lot more sanitized to say “this fiction is bad because it affects reality” and not the more truer version of “this fiction is bad because it might make people feel things I’m afraid of.”

First of all, they can be (and many of them are) racist, sexist, ableist, etc either on a conscious or subconscious level. I've seen people say "I was denied an autism diagnosis because my psych didn't believe women could be autistic" and then there's dozens of comments saying "well they're a professional so they're obviously right!!! Just admit you don't have autism!!!" even when the person explicitly said they were denied a diagnosis because of a sexist and inaccurate stereotype.

And also, I guarantee you most psychs are not as educated as you think they are (which plays into the above point, they aren't educated enough so they have these biases). Despite how long they spend in school, they often come out knowing about MAD and GAD (without tangible causes) and CBT, and that's about it. Often times certain disorders get mentioned once for a single paragraph and that's it, and/or taught about incorrectly. I've heard people say that Split was shown as an accurate representation of DID in their psych class. Unless a psych has specialist knowledge in a certain disorder, it's safest to assume they barely know anything about it, unfortunately.

Even when it comes to well known disorders. I'd say most therapist are not trauma informed enough to treat PTSD and C-PTSD. I've had MULTIPLE therapists admit to me that they know barely anything about OCD and I had to explain to them how to treat me. They don't even know about PTSD and OCD, so how they hell do you expect them to know about dissociative and personality disorders???

This is not to say all therapists and mental health professionals are unqualified. This is to say that they have biases and prejudices, and that the psychology training system teaches you about depression and anxiety and not much else. So no, you shouldn't treat them like flawless gods that can never be wrong ever. So yes, sometimes they misdiagnose. Sometimes they fuck up. That DOESN'T mean that the patient is faking. And this ESPECIALLY means you shouldn't believe a therapist's take about a certain disorder just because they're a therapist. For example, all the therapists who are not qualified at all in personality disorders saying shit about "narcissists" and "sociopaths" (especially on social media, because they do that stuff for clout and don't care about facts).

I worry a lot about how the internet seems to believe psychiatrists are incapable of having biases, of making mistakes, of misdiagnosing or mismedicating patients. The reality is that psychiatrists fuck up allllll the time and more often than not, you're going to have to do a lot of self advocating. I've had psychiatrists who are super good about covering all bases and being able to spot symptoms and disorders without me having to say anything, but the VAST majority of the time I've always had to be the one to bring up my symptoms and potential diagnoses to them.

People tend to have a poor understanding of psychiatrists- I think a lot of people have this idea in their head that as long as you get a professional diagnosis, that is the correct diagnosis no matter what, but misdiagnosis is not only possibly, but common.

A study was conducted where they sent those who qualified for bipolar to go talk to psychiatrists and see what diagnosis they walk away from. Now, you'd hope the misdiagnosis rate was low, hopefully something like 5-10% at most. 25% is surely where I'd start having serious concerns.

60%. 60% of the time those who walk in to see a psychiatrist despite presenting with bipolar will not get a bipolar diagnosis. 60%. (Wolkenstein et al., 2011) And that's not even mentioning the fact that, on average, onset of bipolar symptoms to diagnosis is nine years. Nine YEARS. (Gruber & Weinstock, 2018) Psychiatrists are fucking up diagnoses regularly

The reality is that psychiatry is not perfect, and the internet seriously needs to stop acting like it's the only way to process mental illness

I'm doing a social work master's degree and specifically chose a university that has a macro social work program (macro is essentially large scale stuff like policy work) since I don't want to be a therapist, which is pretty much the most common social work job. I'm not kidding when I say that in any class I take, at most there will be like 3 students in the macro track. I think I was told 90% or more of the MSW students are doing the clinical program.

Even though I'm macro, I'm still required to take some basic clinical classes that are essentially classes on how to be a therapist. Please take what I say here with a grain of salt since I'm not in the clinical track, but at the end of these classes I'm always like "Wait, that's it?" I never feel actually prepared to do any therapy work or even talk to a client. For the intro class about doing one-on-one therapy, everything was lecture and discussion. We didn't actually practice doing therapy by roleplaying with each other until the very end. We had like two class meetings for roleplays and then immediately afterwards a final roleplay assignment that zero students felt prepared for. I kid you not, the roleplays we did in class were scenarios like "A client who is having difficulty with their boss" and then for the actual roleplay assignment my scenario was "A client who recently lost their house in a flood." The professor expected me to know how to help with trauma and loss when the few practice roleplays we did were about helping a client feel confident enough to do a work presentation.

A lot of classes are electives, which I guess is so you can choose what populations you want to focus on, but some classes that are electives I'm like...what?? Like the class on loss and bereavement is an elective. Human sexuality is an elective too (though we do talk about the LGBTQ+ community and queerphobia in other classes).

And again, take what I'm saying about the clinical track with some healthy skepticism since I'm not in it. We also have two internships and there is an extensive, long process to get licensed, which is a requirement to be a therapist. There are also more degrees than just social work that lead to a job in therapy, and you have to not only renew your license every few years (which requires taking more classes) but you also have to be licensed in every. single. state you offer your services in. However, I still am surprised how my clinical classes have been (My one good clinical class has been group therapy. I love it, and we actually were our own therapy group together in class, so we essentially got practice every single week plus "free" therapy. It's been amazing. 10/10 would take this class again.)

Another thing that really upsets me and rubs me the wrong way is how common ableist language is in my degree program. Not only the students but even my professors who are experienced therapists will use words like "cr*zy" or say insensitive stuff. The classes also hammer in the idea that empathy is everything instead of acknowledging that empathy is not a synonym for compassion. And I have had classes where (and I'm pretty sure this was not the professor's word choice but instead a requirement for the course) they would talk about "difficult clients" and show material that was super ableist about people who experience psychosis and personality disorders. My group therapy professor was wincing the entire time she had to discuss the "difficult client" chapter because of how awful it is, but I'm assuming she was required to discuss it because she visibly did not like the wording used and said to us that the terminology is bad. I can't find the powerpoint about the chapter for some reason, but here are some screenshots from my textbook of some of the most egregious pages of the chapter. Warning for a ton of ableism against people with psychosis, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and personality disorders in general:

Another thing is that science in general is not automatically correct or devoid of bias/oppression. The DSM-5 literally pretends that fat people can't have anorexia. If a fat person experiences every aspect of anorexia EXCEPT being thin, then they're categorized as having "atypical anorexia." The majority of the scientific/medical field is extraordinarily fatphobic and ignorant. Information and studies that disprove common bigoted beliefs about fat people/fatness are suppressed. The majority of studies about weight and nutrition are severely flawed, and that is still true even after taking my research course this semester that explained all about how to design a study and the types of threats to a study's validity. Almost every single flaw my professor said a study could have I was like "Yep, I've seen that in [blank] fatphobic weight study." And as for other oppressed groups, society used to believe that women had "female hysteria," that AIDS was "the gay disease," that gayness was a mental disorder, that different ethnicities were scientifically proven to be "inferior," etc. So even if a therapist knows everything about current therapy, they can still be wrong if the science is wrong.

One thing I can say is that we're taught to refer clients to other therapists and resources that can help them when we can't. So if your therapist isn't helping you, especially if they don't know anything about your mental illness, they were trained to help you find someone who CAN help. If they don't refer you, then they aren't even following what they were taught.

Like I know it likely feels harmless, and indeed a completely true thing to say, but suggesting that NT people are pretentious or don't feel emotions or are stupid or lack passion is NOT an okay thing to say! It is wildly dehumanising, and absolutely a mindset to get out of!

The issue at point here is that the STATED DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA for autism is often worded in a silly way, at least in the way that most autistic people interpret it. When the diagnostic criteria discusses "restricted interests" it refers to the fact that many autistic people will primarily want to discuss their hyperfixations (which can be many!) and think that conversations that aren't a deep interrogation of these subjects are inherently not valuable - you know, like many people in these tags are in fact doing.

However, the problem is not that autistic people have these narrow but very deep interests (which we do!!!) but that this is perceived as a NEGATIVE thing, which as OP states is not true! Autistic people are responsible for uhhh a huge variety of modern technology and systems, because we are a PART of society and not separate from it. Having a more narrow interest field isn't a negative it is a balance to the people whose interests may be more broad, who may be more content with a few layers of information and not need to dissect everything.

they absolutely are neurodivergent!

i think a lot of people’s introduction to the concept of neurodivergence is through the autistic and adhd communities, and that leads people to assume neurodivergence only includes things you’re born with, but that’s not actually the case.

here’s how i would explain neurodivergence:

the social Powers That Be in our current (Western, capitalist, etc) society have designated certain ways of thinking, feeling, perceiving, and so on as the Correct Ways of Existing.

most of our world is built on the assumption that everyone’s brains will work that way, because that’s the way they “should” work. when people’s brains don’t work that way, it’s assumed that the solution is to find a way to “fix” them or get rid of them.

as a result, people whose brains do work in that way have an easier time navigating the world and are generally treated better by it, while people whose brains deviate from that expectation in some way have a more difficult time navigating a world not built with them in mind and are treated as “wrong”/“bad”.

people in the first group, who can navigate the world with very little added stigma or difficulty as a result of the way their brains work, would be considered neurotypical.

people in the second group, who do face added stigma and barriers to functioning as a result of the way their brains work, would be considered neurodivergent.

so, if you want to determine if something makes someone neurodivergent, you can ask yourself a few questions:

does it have to do with their psychology/neurology?

does it affect their thinking, emotions, perceptions, or other brain functions in a way that is considered “abnormal” by current social norms?

does it carry a stigma and make them more likely to be mistreated?

does it cause them extra difficulty with navigating and functioning in the world?

if the answers to those questions are yes, chances are it’s a form of neurodivergence!

so, if we look at those questions for personality disorders:

this is the easiest answer — yes!

personality disorders are classified as “mental illnesses”, put in the dsm, and generally assumed to be under the jurisdiction of psychiatry, so i think we can pretty safely say that yes, personality disorders are seen as “abnormal” forms of brain functioning according to current social norms.

personality disorders and their traits are incredibly stigmatized — pwpds are assumed to be violent, abusive, generally bad people, and so on. this is most visibly true for cluster b pds, but stigma against the other pds and against the personality disorder category in general is also very real. so this one’s a yes — pwpds are very frequently mistreated on the basis of our brains being “wrong”.

personality disorders, by definition, come with some sort of functioning difficulties, and the world isn’t built to accommodate those differences in functioning. as an example, think of the high expectations of emotional regulation (not “too” emotional but not “cold” either) and social capability in professional spaces, even ones where emotions and social interactions don’t affect a person’s ability to do the job well. that makes this one a yes too; a society that took pwpds into account would seek to accommodate the areas we struggle with and ensure that there’s a place for us, and that definitely isn’t happening right now.

so yeah, according to my own personal understanding of neurodivergence, personality disorders absolutely count. we diverge from the assumed norms of psychological/neurological functioning, so we count as neurodivergent, even those of us who aren’t also neurodivergent in other ways.

on a personal level, i can say i feel no real difference in how i internally experience being audhd vs how i experience my personality disorders — they both just feel like my brain doing its thing, sometimes in ways that are unpleasant/difficult for me to deal with and sometimes in ways that just feel totally fine and unremarkable from my point of view. i also rarely notice a difference in how neurotypical people treat them — they usually don’t know the difference between audhd “weirdness” vs avoidant/narcissistic/schizospec/dissociative “weirdness”, it’s all just one big blob of Weird And Bad And Wrong to most people. the only time they’re ever really treated as different is when certain other neurodivergent people try to separate the two.

trying to draw lines between neurodivergence and “mental illness” (which is usually what’s happening when people say pds aren’t a form of neurodivergence) doesn’t actually help anyone. in my opinion, it’s basically just a way for certain people to try to get ahead by putting other people down — it says “accept us because we’re different in the good way, not in the bad way! we’re not sick like those people!” and that kind of attitude doesn’t do anyone any good. sure, the experiences that come with having a since-birth neurodivergence can be different from those that come with having an acquired neurodivegence, but people within those groups also have different experiences because everyone’s experience is going to be unique, we’re all different people in different circumstances! diversity of experiences among neurodivergent people is to be expected and is honestly a good thing, not a reason to avoid associating with each other.

5. Walk with your keys in your hands and keep a key between each finger

6. If they put you in the trunk kick out the headlights

E.g.

If your gut is telling you to cross the street or change your path, do it. Don’t risk it. Your body knows.

If you can, buy a large umbrella and walk holding it. Studies say that predators are less likely to attempt an attack on someone that could fight back. Keys around your knuckles is fine but you’ll need to get very close to do damage. Umbrellas are more precise.

Avoid wearing headphones if you are alone on an empty street. Look aware.

Again: Stay. Away. From. Walls.

Entering an uber alone? Call your father (or anyone you trust) and say “hey dad! Yep, I’m almost there, I’m sending you the route.” outloud. Then proceed to send them the route so they can follow the uber drive. This will most likely intimidate the predator.

If you see someone in an uncomfortable or possibly dangerous situation, walk up to them and say “Betty, oh my god, I haven’t seen you in so long!”. If she gets slightly confused, you can whisper and let her know you’re trying to help and that she should follow along. Walk together to another station or away from where you are. The man will most likely not follow. I have done this one 2 times and can be very helpful.

If you are unsure she needs help, you can pass her a note saying something like “hey, I noticed this man beside you is making you uncomfortable. If you’d like help, fake a sneeze right now and I will come up to you and pretend we are friends.” This is a long note, but its an example. Be discrete. If she follows along, proceed with the previous tip. This is helpful when you’re in a crowded train and you notice harassment.

-If walking alone, never fully smile at a man you don’t know. A curt nod is fine if needed, but generally avoid acknowledging them

-even if it’s warm, always carry a jacket or overshirt when wearing shorts or a skirt. Wrapping it around your waist can help deter perverts trying to take a look.

-Never act intimidated if you’ve come to the point where someone needs to back off. Even if you are. Always shoulders back, spine straight, chin slightly up, and you should set your best RBF. I use this one near daily when I walk to my car after school. I also do it when my friends are being bothered, because it makes the person know you aren’t afraid to scream and fight (this works best with athletic builds but effective no matter what)

-ALWAYS bring your own water bottle and never accept a bottled water unless you’ve bought it, someone you trust bought it, or you watched where it was produced from.

-If you have a jacket, put the hood up in an uncomfortable situation. It makes your face harder to see and it’s easier to disappear into a crowd when they can’t identify your head (as a person with dyed hair, THIS IS HUGE)

-At events like concerts or fairs where you’ll most likely need to move through crowds, move fast and don’t be afraid to shove back.

-FIND A WOMAN OR A WOMAN WITH A CHILD!!! AGREED!!! I have gotten out of a lot of situations, both alone and with friends, by falling in line with a woman and saying “Auntie/Grandma!! Wait up!!” They’ll know.

-Never give your name to a stranger and if you feel like you have to, have a fake name prepared. Mine is Marcy.

When you’re at a party, watch your drink, and if you left it abandoned at all, just get a new one.

Know your own alcohol tolerance and drink responsibly around trusted people.

Trust your gut if someone you know is giving you a bad vibe.

Watch for red flags like someone pushing your boundaries or not respecting a no on any small thing. They’re testing the waters to see if they can push you on bigger things. Stick to your guns and double down. “No I said I’m not going to go to that party.”

If your partner doesn’t like you spending time with other people, that’s a red flag. Don’t let them isolate you from your support network.

Don’t become so financially dependent on your partner that you couldn’t leave if you needed to. Have separate bank accounts.

If your partner punches walls during an argument, that’s a threat and should be regarded as such. If they have fits of temper, pay attention to see if they only destroy your stuff–if so they’re more in control than they’re pretending to be.

If animals don’t like your partner, that’s a red flag. They’re good at sensing these things and see things you don’t.

Remember that abusers can be of any gender or orientation. Just because someone’s in a queer relationship doesn’t mean they’re automatically safe from abuse or assault. Just because someone’s a cis man doesn’t mean he’s safe from being abused or assaulted.

Remember you don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to or aren’t comfortable with and a good partner will respect that. Don’t let them make you think you owe them sexual favors for any reason.

The brain is an organ, not a figment of imagination.

I’d argue that ‘cripple’ wasn’t used for mentally ill people. It’s similar to a physically disabled person using the r-slur to describe themself. Or a lesbian using the f-slur. Or a gay man using the d-slur.

We recognize that mentally illness can make you disabled. We recognize that it often does. Call yourself disabled, sure, but don’t reclaim a slur that wasn’t yours in the first place.

And again the brain is physical. The line between physical and mental is arbitrary and made up. The brain is an organ.

While I'm here (not hostile btw just correcting some issues w your statement)

So, what is a personality disorder?

— A personality disorder is an enduring pattern of inner experience and behaviour that causes an individual distress and an inability to function. They usually develop in teenage years or early adulthood

There are 10 personality disorders listed in the DSM-V and they're organised into three clusters

Cluster A personality disorders

– characterized by odd, eccentric thinking or behavior

PPD – Paranoid personality disorder

SzPD – Schizoid personality disorder

STPD - Schizotypal personality disorder

Cluster B personality disorders

– characterized by dramatic, overly emotional or unpredictable thinking or behavior

ASPD - Antisocial personality disorder

BPD - Borderline personality disorder, also known as EUPD (Emotionally unstable personality disorder)

HPD - Histrionic personality disorder

NPD - Narcissistic personality disorder

Cluster C personality disorders

– characterized by anxious, fearful thinking or behavior

AvPD - Avoidant personality disorder

DPD - Dependant personality disorder

OCPD - Obsessive compulsive personality disorder – (NOTE: OCPD and OCD AREN'T the same thing)

Causes of personality disorders:

– genetics

– brain changes

– childhood trauma

– verbal abuse

Each personality disorder has it's own set of symptoms, however all of them share two main ones which are:

– a lack of a clear or stable image of self

– struggling forming and keeping close relationships

Please note that recovery is possible with therapy, although everyone's experience will be different

This blog will focus on cluster B personality disorders, my own experiences and possibly other people's experience, although people from other clusters are welcomed to stay~

Have a good day/night~

There’s going to be an in-depth discussion of all this in a few days because it’s taking me a while to draft, but I’m so freaking excited about this visual that I had to share it right this second.

Thoughts?  What am I forgetting?

From the Psychodynamic Diagnostic Manual (2006):

From the DSM-IV-TR (2000) and the ICD-10 (2019):

Guntrip's core traits (1969):

In the SWAP-200 personality assessment:

From the DSM-5-TR (2022):

The ICD-11 (2022) doesn't have a specific schizoid diagnosis, but it's detachment trait domain in its personality disorder traits section is similar to SzPD:

Antisocial, borderline, histrionic, and narcissitic personality disorders

Paraphilic disorders like pedophilia, zoophilia, and necrophilia

Factituous disorder, aka Munchausen Syndrome

Pedophilic OCD (and similar)

This does not at all mean we support abuse or other harmful actions. It means we support any and all disabled/ND people receiving the support, resources, and care they need to live safe and fulfilling lives.

People with the above diagnoses not inherently abusers. But more than that, part of supporting disabled/ND people is acknowledging that the harm people may commit does not make them less deserving of basic human rights. A marginalized person's actions being inexcusable does not make their oppression excusable.

And that doesn't just apply to people with the above diagnoses. It applies to all disabled/ND people. We are all harmed by the idea that one's thoughts, feelings, and actions are grounds to oppress anyone.