Random spew of shit bc i have no where else to put it.
I'm legitimately sobbing rn. Good sobbing, but sobbing.
Yesterday, I got an email from the directors of the public defense office where I'm at inviting me to join their online summer law clinics hosted by the 3 biggest law schools in the state. Bc I made connections and worked my fucking ass off.
Just now, I got an email from a professor who I respect the hell out of. She doesn't hand out praise or approval easily. She is very hard to impress. I was one of five students she emailed regarding latino/a law networking opportunities this summer and fall. This organization is huge in making connections.
I have worked my ASS off to be present and engaged. I grew up in a shitty, fucked ass house with a fucked ass family, fighting the fucking odds to get out of that biased town. I sobbed and suffered and killed myself to do well in high school so that I could get out. And I did. Against all fucking odds I did. I have had sleepless nights, mental breakdowns, and draining days since starting uni to make sure I did well. I have had my siblings openly say they think I'm naive about the real world or have unrealistic views of the type of law I want to go into. They have made it clear that they think im going to flake out. That I won't make it. The ONLY person who has openly had my back is my mother.
But i fucking did it. There are people out there who see my ambition and my fire and my passion. And they are offering me what I need to climb out of this hell. Despite all the fucking odds, all the fucking doubt, all the fucking put downs, I fucking did it. And I feared that I wouldn't be able to. Well fuck that. Because I'm here and I'm not giving this up now. Come hell or high water.
