i bet the pain will end if i arrange a perfect enough sentence about it

the shame of making a connection irl and them being like omg can i have your insta??? snapchat????? and having to be like sorry i live in a gap between two tree roots youre just going to have to normal text me like some kind of animal

communities should have a cute little 'block all members' button i think it would really help to bring the feature into the 21st century

real yearners miss shit that never even happened

when I'm on my deathbed im going to queue like 15,000 posts from the perspective of someone who's dead and in hell so that the blogging never ends

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son