for real tho it feels exhausting that ive seen this whole "woman should be allowed to abstain from X beauty standard" -> "i perform X beauty standard, am i evil? do you think im evil? please forgive me i came up with a dozen excuses 🥺" since like 2015 (and i know its been going on longer than that) like girl thats not the poiiiiint
look me in the eyes. repeat after me. "i face societal pressure to perform this beauty standard. i should not face that pressure. i conform to this standard. i am rewarded for performing to this standard. i need to respect women who do not perform this standard. this is not about whether or not i am a sinner for wearing makeup."
Like OP said, the notes of these kind of posts are full of people doing exactly what they said.
I especially hate "we should allow people to do what they want with their bodies and not judge them" because it ignores the whole issue of it being a societal issue and pressure on women to perform these beauty standards.
If you wear make up/shave your legs/wear a bra for whatever personal reason then thats fine! But it's ignoring the fact that those who dont perform those standards are the ones who face more pressure than you lot who do all of the above.
I was pressured by the women in my family to start shaving my legs when I was young and started growing leg hair, when I reached high school I just stopped because shaving was obnoxious, but still wore long pants 90% ofnthe tine because of how my family and school mates acted. I don't shave my armpits either and still have to force myself to not feel embarrassed or strange when I wear a tanktop.
When I started my second job at Panda Express, my female coworkers and supervisors tried to pressure me into wearing make-up, even after I said absolutely not THEY STILL tried to subtly pressure me by gifting me make-up products in our yearly christmas goodie bags.
Hell I'm over 30 now and just today I got scolded by my mother when out grocery shopping because I didn't put on a bra, despite the fact I'm out and about just for personal reasons.
No one's calling the other evil because they do the set beauty standard for whatever reason, but understand its pretty annoying when people come in and try to excuse themselves for practicing said beauty standards, when the conversation should push towards making it normal to not have these beauty standards.
This is part of a wider issue where people who've been raised in a culturally Christian environment (which is like... most white Canadians, USAmericans, and Europeans) can only conceptualise critical analysis of behaviours and systems through the idea of them personally being good or bad because of it, and as such being praised or judged for it. They might not use the word 'sin' but that is the concept we're dealing with here that's deeply ingrained in our culture.
It is absolutely essential if you are committed to anti-colonial, anti-racist and feminist work, that you unlearn this and are able to hear criticism and analysis as something other than "I'm a terrible person for doing xyz" or "I'm a great person for not doing xyz". It's not about you, or what kind of person you are. Nobody needs your judgement or your justifications. It's about understanding the mechanisms and systems we live under and how they work.
You can wrestle with the ethics of your own actions and participation in that system in your own time.
