snudder mado

Something I’ve realised working in retail is that………..ppl just don’t fucking read……

what do people in their twentys do except go to the grocery store……….

the lock jammed on the front door of my shitty prewar apartment building so i just spent twenty minutes forcing it open while my very drunk neighbor sat on the steps nodding at my efforts and going “this is fun. being locked out together. we should hang out more”

he’s like 6’2” and jacked at one point he was like “try a kick. try… kicking it” so i donkey kicked it as hard as i could and it did absolutely nothing but he was still like “wow. more torque…. than i expected. you’ve got a surprising, uh. torque to size ratio” and i think i’m putting it on my resume

Some days I’d like to be murdered some days I’d like to bed god

I intended to type ‘be god’; let this be yet another demonstration of how much wiser and knowing my fingers are compared to my feeble mind

one day im just gonna do it. im gonna vanish into the scottish highlands like god intended

social media popularity and influencer culture is gross but also.. i wanna make money for doing absolutely nothing too

That time of night as an adult where you’re desperately tired and want to sleep but you also don’t want to give up the day yet bc there’s stuff you wanna do. I’m calling it the toddler hour

*jenny holzer truism font* EROTICISING WOMEN’S ANGER IS ANOTHER WAY OF DISMISSING IT

video game engines are amazing because they can make it so sunlight filters through leaves casting dozens of little rays in your eyes just like in real life and then you turn around and there’s a whole ass horse just swimming in circles in midair