Be welcome to my lair

Then about a week into their journey like

Legolas: *in Elvish, for approximately the 20th time* ugh fucking hobbits, so annoying

Frodo: *also in Elvish, deadpan* yeah we’re the worst

Legolas:

Legolas: ugh fucking hobbits

Merry: Frodo what’d he say

Frodo: I’m not sure he speaks a weird dialect but I think he’s insulting us. I should tell him I can understand Elvish

Merry: I mean you could do that but consider

Merry: you can only tell him ONCE

Legolas: umm well your accent is horrible

Aragorn: *hollering from a distance* HIS ACCENT IS BETTER THAN YOURS LEGOLAS YOU SILVAN HICK

Legolas: y’alld’ve’ff’ve

Frodo: Good morrow to thee, frend. I hope we twain shalle bee moste excellente companions.

Legolas: Wots that mate? ‘Ere, you avin’ a giggle? Fookin’ ‘obbits, I sware.

english would probably have changed less since Chaucer’s time, if a lot of our cultural leaders from the thirteenth century were still alive and running things.

they’ve had like. seven generations since the sun happened, max. frodo’s books are old to him, but outside any very old poetry copied down exactly, the dialect represented in them isn’t likely to be older than the Second Age, wherein Aragorn’s foster-father Elrond started out as a very young adult and grew into himself, and Legolas’ father was born.

so like, three to six thousand years old, maybe, which is probably a drop in the bucket of Elvish history judging by all the ethnic differentiation that had time to develop before Ungoliant came along, even if we can’t really tell because there weren’t years to count, before the Trees were destroyed.

plus a lot of Bilbo’s materials were probably directly from Elrond, whose library dates largely from the Third Age, probably, because he didn’t establish Imladris until after the Last Alliance. and Elrond isn’t the type to intentionally help Bilbo learn the wrong dialect and sound sillier than can be helped, even if everyone was humoring him more than a little.

so depending on how much of a role Thranduil took in his upbringing (and Oropher in his), Legolas may have some weird stilted old-fashioned speaking tics in his Sindarin that reflect a more purely Doriathrin dialect rather than the Doriathrin-influenced Western Sindarin that became the most widely spoken Sindarin long before he was born, or he might have a School Voice from having been taught how to Speak Proper and then lapse into really obscure colloquial Avari dialect when he’s being casual. or both!

considering legolas’ moderately complicated political position, i expect he can code-switch.

…it’s also fairly likely considering the linguistic politics involved that Legolas is reasonably articulate in Sindarin, though with some level of accent, but knows approximately zero Quenya outside of loanwords into Sindarin, and even those he mostly didn’t learn as a kid.

which would be extra hilarious when he and gimli fetch up in Valinor in his little homemade skiff, if the first elves he meets have never been to Middle Earth and they’re just standing there on the beach reduced to miming about what is the short beard person, and who are you, and why.

Pippin, confused: Is he not speaking Elvish?

Frodo, sarcastically: I dunno, are you speaking Hobbit?

Boromir, who has been lowkey pissed-off at the Hobbits’ weird dialect this whole time: That’s what it sounds like to me.

Merry, who actually knows some shit about Hobbit background: We are actually speaking multiple variants of the Shire dialect of Westron, you ignorant fuck.

Ultimately it’s run by those with the most power. What’s the difference between Levistus and Morden? They are both powerful in their own right by the strength of their magic, then there’s the strength of their allies, and those under their control. But both answer to people higher up the food chain (The senior light council, Richard). Alex is forced to work for Morden under pain of death, and death of everyone he knows. How is that any different to what the Light council did to him? Chased him half way across the earth. Both sides are willing to throw anyone they deem as unimportant in front of them to save themselves. They work for favours. They only respect those who are useful to them, or dangerous to them. Hell, Morden treats Alex with more respect than Levistus does.

If one or the other rolls up at your door and says “work for us or else” the or else choice is still “or Death.”

The biggest differences comes down to how they treat their apprentices and whether they keep slaves. And the only reason Light mages don’t deal in slaves is cause money is meaningless and life is cheep: it’s easier to pay people to walk to their death than to threaten them. Dark mages just think it makes them look weak.

Dark mages are Gryffindor alined, Light mages are Slytherin alined. Lol.

Me: [rambles tiredly for 30 mins]

And DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH THEIR FRIENDS THINGS BECAUSE THEY WILL BLOW YOU TO THE FUCKING MOON!

Semi-selective, multiverse, multiship, brand new Terra sideblog.

Offers canon verses (including Birth by Sleep and Lingering Will) and canon-divergent verses. Open to OCs and other Fandoms.

All spoilers for Kingdom Hearts III will be tagged accordingly.

You followed me too far, Aqua..

Just a couple small reminders of a happier time…

Percy’s neutral expression is a natural brooding look that he gets from Poseidon

That when he does smile it’s crooked and makes him look like a trouble maker

When he talks it’s usually very sarcastic and/or impertinent 

His inner monologue is actually very negative and while we, as the readers, take it as a joke he’s usually pretty pessimistic for a good portion of the time

That when he’s fighting his expression is fierce and is hard to tell whether he is the good guy or not

That Leo Valdez equated Percy’s angry expression to the feeling he gets when Jason is about to shoot lightning. Let me repeat - just the look on Percy’s face when he’s angry was considered on par to Jason controlling flipping lightning

That he’s very very vindictive and loyal only to those he considers his friends and once you lose his trust it is nearly impossible to earn back 

That while he had the curse of achilles, he laughed crazily while he was single handedly destroying hordes of monsters

He made an entire volcano erupt, awakened a giant, and almost wiped out the northwest of the united states

He tortured a godess just so she would feel his misery

That he’s actually very manipulative and it made Annabeth step back for a moment and reevaluate her perception of him

That while his dark side came to it’s peak in house of hades and wasn’t mentioned in blood of olympus, there was no confirmation that it suddenly and completely disappeared after they left Tartarus.

Has been the child of the prophecy twice.

He manipulated Bob to kill his own brother by simply convincing him that they were friends and that is what friends did for each other

He was physically abused by his step father

That with absolutely no training at all he killed the minotaur with it’s own horn at the mere age of twelve

He wins a good majority of his fights by simply outsmarting his opponent 

He has scared not only Annabeth but his friends and peers on more than one occasion with his attitude and powers

That he’s considered extremely powerful for a demigod and for a child of the big three and makes the gods slightly nervous

That when he’s upset his powers act to mimic his emotions without him even trying

Has been offered immortality

That he is actually really sorta intimidating without trying 

Percy has been to anger management classes. 

The name Perseus literally translates to “To Destroy.” Do with that what you will. 

Percy and his mother systematically murdered his abusive step father. And not only did Percy not feel a bit of repulse at the idea of killing someone, he offered to kill Gabe by himself if his mother couldn’t do it, then felt regret that he wasn’t the one who strike the final blow. His exact inner thought was - “How could I turn down the perfect chance to take revenge on him?”

After Percy killed Arachne in Tartarus, his exact words to Annabeth was “She died too easy, considering how much torture he put you through. She deserved worse.” And it unsettled Annabeth so much that she was almost glad Arachne died quickly.

Like dam, if you haven’t figured it out already, Percy kinda has a thing for revenge.

Percy’s powers grow extraordinarily fast, show no signs of stopping any time soon, and are no longer bound to only salt water or pure water liquids but now encompass all water-based liquids.

Percy blood bended in Tartarus.

“He didn’t want to stop. He wanted to choke this goddess. He wanted to watch her drown in her own poison. He wanted to see just how much misery Misery could take.” - Perseus Jackson while torturing Akhlys.

Luke and Kronos when talking about Percy not only referred to him as a weapon, but an unreliable one at that.

Frank literally compared Percy’s fighting style to a demon.

Percy pretty much took out half of the Roman Legion single-handedly during the War Games and basically just caused mass chaos and panic.

When Frank, Hazel, and Percy were traveling in SoN, street gangs didn’t bother them because one look from Percy sent them running in the other direction. One look.