i miss when ppl straight up lied on here. i’m gonna start doing it again. okay so yesterday i saw hannibal lecter in the target bathroom

my favorite boba fett moment was when the empire was like "hey we could hire you permanently perhaps" and he was like "lmao you cant afford me"

I will be 70 years old and I still will never have gotten over the time the Mythbusters used a rocket powered steel wall to - and I use this word as literally as possible - vaporize an entire car into red mist

That was a near-religious experience 

it fucking sublimated!

Oh my God it melted away like a toddler and a sand castle

that’s enough emotions for a whole year. ciao

The earlier in the year you reblog this the better it gets

School with adhd is just "I've done the entire page while you were still discussing exercise 1, and now I'm bored" or "I understand half of these words individually, can't focus and now I'm bored" there is no in between

Shout out to every fast food employee who has ever offered to make my order a slightly different way so that it comes out cheaper

“Ladies it’s feminist to do something that’s very likely to cause you to get in an accident. See how much I care for your lives? UwU”

you know. I remember when ‘women are bad drivers’ was a sexist stereotype that was considered unacceptable, not a FUCKING GOAL TO ACHIEVE.

I just assume writers on that site are playing a game of "What's the most nonsensical thing I can say and have people believe?"

Well, good news! It’s apparently a satire site. THANK GOD.

It's hard to tell the difference these days.

Y’all have to realize your brain worms are terminal

i hate this meme why would u drink something called bone hurting juice 

In case your bones feel too good

This is why puppets are the superior medium. You can't do this with CGI characters.

why don’t we have dancing plagues anymore

Cultural context is doing a lot of heavy lifting for this ambiguous sentence; but misreading it on the first go has ruined my life