La dolce vita

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“yeah, it’s all good” they were grateful and then after a moment of silence they go

“you know, if there’s anything you wanna tell me…you can, right?”

I know this sounds completely tone deaf and overly dramatic, but my weight has gone thru so many dramatic changes this last year and this year and it’s still difficult

I got up to my heaviest last year: 180 pounds at 5’2

Then I got sick

My parathyroid gland developed benign tumors which caused my metabolism to pick up at an accelerated level. Because of this, my weight dropped effortlessly down to 139 at the lowest.

Mind you this was not a fun process. Yes I didn’t need to diet or exercise and all I did was eat around that time since my metabolism ate through everything quickly. But I was miserable.

Cold and hot off and on all the time

Falling asleep everytime I sat down

Foggy headed and could barely remember simply things

All of this bc of my parathyroid

I finally got surgery for the tumors but it’s still healing and the process is complicated. After this year I slowly gained about 6 pounds back last winter and then another 5 in April

No matter what I’ve done, my weight refused to budge and stabilized at 150. Not my worst number but not my favorite either.

Despite my efforts to fast

Eat healthy

Drink water

Move a bit more, my weight stayed the same

And then after thanksgiving I gained a single pound. It scared me. I’ve been weighing myself daily since then and even though I’m watching my calories, my weight is not going back down

It’s driving me crazy and leaves me in fear of what’s left of the holidays…I don’t want to nor can I deal with gaining it all back