some of you cute little brussels sprouts just need to have the bitterness bred out of you, don't you

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@lubefairy
some of you cute little brussels sprouts just need to have the bitterness bred out of you, don't you

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we can do this. we can live in a world where, if we must have ai, at least you can ask it "who wields the elf stones" and it will tell you "ringo starr does"
personally I am of the opinion that vegans who are like “the way our food system currently works under capitalism on a large scale is exceptionally cruel to all animals including humans and is not sustainable, so I’m doing what I can to make the most ethical choices available to me about what I eat and encourage others to do the same” are generally very reasonable people who I agree with in spades. but vegans who seem to think human beings are not themselves animals who are ultimately also part of the food chain but instead some kind of other paternalistic higher entity that can never engage in ethical and sustainable hunting practices (and especially the fringe I’ve seen who think other carnivorous animal predators are also evil and need to be eliminated) are people I regard as foolish at best if not actively anti-indigenous and racist
“It's not fair.” The little ghost kicks impotently at the chalk lines around her feet. “I ain't done nothing.”
I nod, setting down my chalk and spellbook. “It does sound like there might have been a bit of a misunderstanding.”
“She took against me, that's what happened,” the dead girl says with a scowl. She looks about fourteen, round faced and spotty, with whisps of brown hair peaking out from under her mob-cap. Her face and her crossed arms have a tell-tale bluish tinge to them. A cholera death.
“I been here for don't know how long and never gave any trouble. Nobody ever complained about me 'till her.”
…well, that's not strictly true.
Number 12, Barclay Street has been attracting rumours of haunting since the mid nineteenth century.
Sounds of faint singing and crying in the corridors at night. Cold spots. Doors that open and close by themselves. Animals acting strangely. Harmless, mid to low-level stuff, typical for a bored teenage poltergeist.
Still, pointing that out isn't likely to achieve much, and certainly the most recent complaints of blood running down the walls, screams in the dark and paralysing night terrors seem distinctly out of character.
The ghost toes the chalk again, more tentatively this time. It stays resolutely unbroken.
She could get out if she wanted to. I'm not one of those assholes who brings out their full arsenal of wards and sigils for a first meeting with a level 2 spectre. The summoning circle will keep her in one place for as long as I need her to talk, but it wouldn't hold for a moment if she really fought against it.
I take it as a good sign that she's still here. Pouting or not, she's clearly willing to work with me.
“None of the others could do this,” she says. “None of 'em even saw me.” She looks up. “Are you here to exise me?”
“Exorcise,” I say instinctively, and curse myself when she flinches. “Sorry, no, no! I don't exorcise people from their homes without good reason, not if they're happy where they are.”
“I was happy. Till she started calling in all them ghost hunters.”
Mrs Delaney had been quite persistent in her attempts to 'fix' her haunted house. Most of the people she found were charlatans, of course, but I'd still arranged an appointment as fast as I could once word reached me. It wouldn't have been long before she happened upon somebody with Talent, and unfortunately not everybody in this field knows how to behave like a professional.
“I think we might be able to help each other,” I say, careful to keep my voice calm and level.
“Don't see how. Not unless you can exorcise Her.”
“Not quite what I had in mind.” I pull out my phone and scroll through my photos. “You say that you're not the cause of the most recent incidents of paranormal activity?”
A pause. The ghost gnaws on her lip. I wait, patiently, keeping my body language open and nonthreatening. “I… I knocked her coffee cup over,” she admits at last. “She was being mean and talking on her telephone, saying I done all these things when I never did! So I decided to show her what I could do if I wanted.”
“Hmm.” The ghost eyes me nervously, as if expecting me to pull out a book, bell and candle and banish her on the spot.
“I only tipped it,” she adds. “I didn't break it or nothing!”
“You shouldn't have touched it at all,” I say sternly. “But… I can appreciate that you were frustrated, so let's say no more about it.”
The ghost looks relieved.
“My point is,” I continue, “if you weren't the one making blood rain from the ceiling or tormenting people in their sleep, then what was? There's no other ghosts on the property.” I find the picture I was looking for. “You can get anywhere around the house, right? Including behind the furniture and in the backs of cupboards?”
“Yes'm.”
I hold the phone up so that she can see the picture on the screen. “I'm going to let you go free in a moment, and I need you to see if you can find anything that looks like this.”
The ghost wrinkles her forehead. “What's that when it's at home?”
“Black mould,” I say, reaching out a foot to break the binding circle. “And I'm pretty sure it's the cause of this haunting.”
Shane is pouting.
Shane is pouting at Ilya and Ilya thinks he will die right there in his living room on a cold Boston evening.
They played each other earlier, Shane had come back to Ilya’s because they’re boyfriends now. Sitting on the couch in Ilya’s living room, Shane had suggested watching something so incredibly boring and Ilya had groaned out in protest—but then Shane had to go and pout out his bottom lip so pink and wet and adorable.
“Pretty please, Ilya.” He says while pouting with big brown eyes blinking at him innocently to tie the whole look together.
Ilya stares for a moment at the sight of his big jock boyfriend looking so cute he could eat him.
“Fine.” Ilya says softly.
Shane’s pout turns into a big cheesy Kermit the frog grin and he grabs the remote to put on the boring movie and snuggles up to Ilya’s side. And god, Ilya loves him so fucking much.

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stop letting miserable people on the internet convince you that you must have a concrete, well-constructed opinion on everything that has ever existed.
everybody say thank you Marcus Aurelius
Don’t Twinkify my Shane but also don’t Dumbify my Ilya! He does not need a sex ban threat to pick up his socks, he knows Shane doesn’t like stuff on the floor. He does not eat McDonalds while shane cooks dinner. His goal in life is to be a good boyfriend and make his man happy and he is very good at it.
Lmaoo
[hollanov post 2027 cup parade]
ilya, on the shower floor, water not running: shane. moya lyubov. i think someone poisoned my drinks yesterday
shane, wearing the biggest pair of sunglasses ever invented and trying to stay as still as possible next to the toilet: you’re hungover. because. we’re 36
ilya, turning his head to throw up directly into the shower drain: i was poisoned
August 5, 2025. I don't plan to say "love" until I make profound amends for the harm I've caused you.

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Shout-out to this fascinating combination of kinks and DNIs that I saw in the wild:
Let's see, we have:
Our glorious: mommy kink ✅
Their wicked: incest/fauxcest ❌
Our glorious: femboys ✅
Their wicked: sissies ❌
Our glorious: CNC ✅
Their wicked: rapeplay ❌
Our glorious: boys, twinks, femboys, service subs (common theme is that there are multiple of them) ✅
Their wicked: non-monogamy ❌
i love declining birth rates 🥰 "what a horrible problem! society will collapse!" oopsie it looks like you're gonna have to make having children worth it 😊 teehee you're gonna have to improve society in order to fix this problem, or it will all collapse. oh noooooo. how horrible. :3c
therapypilled deadbeat father: I really don't have the headspace for custody right now
all the people saying this is their dad in real life: I know, I use reddit I have for sure read his r/AITA
black mackerel tabby

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please do not look up to me. I am 1 inch tall. I'm down here. if you look up you won't see me
but what if i.....
I REALLY LIKE THIS ART THIS IS SO CUTE I'M BEING HELD UP