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i love you archival work. i love you alphabetizing. i love you sorting. i love you reshelving. i love you document restoration. i love you shelf reading. i love you inventorying. i love you analysis. i love you archival work.
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It's killing me that Ilya Rozanov is Mr. I'm gonna kiss your inner thigh after I suck you off, Mr. I'm going to look deep into your eyes while I take your vcard and make absolutely sure that it feels good for you, Mr. I'm going to plant kisses up your spine after I cum inside, Mr. I'm going to caress your ass and hold you against me and kiss any part of you that I can reach before I pull out.
But one Shane Hollander forehead kiss had him spiraling like a cyclone. Like bruh. You were already a goner. You've BEEN a goner, Mr. They told me nothing, was my idea. Girl bye đđ¤
okay but ilya and cliff being besties but ilya rooming with connors during the club episode makes me laugh because i'm just imagining him being such a demon to everyone that they had to put being his roomie on ROTATION
i like to think they have a group chat without ilya that they use only for dealing with him in this way. from the outside it seems like an abusive hell dynamic but he is actually a very good friend and a very good captain and any person on that team would go to war for him. but it DOES take a dedicated crisis team with a calculated strategy to deal with him
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[ID: the Bugs Bunny in a tux meme, edited to say âI wish all LGBT+ folk who live in countries where pride is banned, illegal, or unwelcomed a very I love you, stay safe, Happy Pride (red, orange, yellow, green, blue heart emoji). The edited text is in all caps, with LGBT+ in rainbow lettering. End ID.]
i love Not to jump the gun here but with rozanovâs permissionâŚ? i think shane in that scene was feeling fiercely protective over another person for the first time in his life. so bowled over by the intensity of his own emotions that he stumbled back to his hotel room in a daze and immediately jerked off in the shower about it. âwhat if rozanov got arrested and i had to use my immense hockey wealth to bail him out of jail and it was winter in boston. so he had hypothermia. and he had to live with me while we sorted out the legal situation and i yelled at journalists for him and helped him with his paperwork and hired the best lawyer in the world and nursed him back to health and he was like âhollanderâŚâŚ..you saved my life đĽşâ and he fucked me soooo hard every night for stress relief (obviously he couldnât fuck other people. due to the lawsuit) and we fell asleep in each otherâs arms afterwards. because thereâs only one bed in my apartment and heâs too tall for the couchâ stuff like that. normal fantasies
⢠holding ilyaâs hand while they cross a busy street full of hazards (potholes, roadworks, etc)
⢠rescuing ilya from kidnappers (he kicks down the door)
⢠rescuing ilya from a burning building (bridal carry)
⢠fighting in a gladiatorial ice hockey arena for ilyaâs hand in marriage
⢠massaging ilyaâs bad knee and ilya says with wonderment âwowww wow. shane youâre so good at this⌠you are better than every physical therapist on earth probablyâ
⢠saying âhe asked for no picklesâ to the mcdonalds cashier
⢠carrying ilyaâs bags
⢠washing ilyaâs hair
⢠applying oâkeefes working hands cream to ilyaâs calluses
i think âŚ. there is a misconception that shane is a goody two shoes rule follower because he likes the actual rules âŚ. but my take is not that really or at least not just that, itâs more that he likes to follow rules because heâs afraid of what happens if heâs caught not following them. itâs less âwe must follow the speed limit because safety is importantâ and more âif i get caught speeding it will be in the news and people will think differently of me and label me as a trouble maker then no team will want me and i will be shuffled off to the farm team or worse so i must follow the speed limit exactly at all timesâ. he likes rules because they give him guidelines on how to act, not necessarily because he thinks theyâre Just and Right. just maybe something to think about when writing shane as a tight ass rules follower who does nothing wrong ever !
When my mother forgets a wordďżź, she is the queen of coming up with new words. Words that would take a third National Treasure movie to fully decipher.ďżź I was talking to her yesterday, and she said this: âYou know the time for los jibbities is coming upďżź. You must be so excited!âďżź Oh, is it time for los jibbities already?ďżź I must have missed it on my calendar. ďżźAre we celebrating something? âOf courseďżź! We should all be celebrating, shouldnât we?â ďżźOK, so los jibbities is a happy thing.ďżź Itâs not like something is giving you the heebie-jeebies, which would have been my one and only guess.ďżź âLos heebie-jeebies? Now youâre making things up.ďżź..and this is my show.â Youâre right. The time for los jibbities is coming upďżź. Is this a season? âYes, the season for love. The season for pride.âďżź OK, los jibbities. âYeah, sound it out.â LosâŚjibbities. LGBTs! âSĂ, mira cuz youâre gay!â âYou couldnât just say pride season? You couldnât just⌠*laughs*
okay so, guy at work, who i find out afterwards is famous at this place for being a sex pest, comes up and starts with what i also learn is his favorite opener to conversations where heâs going to be a sex pest, namely: âDo you know where the term âblow jobâ comes from?â
and here he made his first fatal error. his moment of hubristic sex pesting. because of course i know where the term blow job comes from, i love learning about sex and the history of sexual terms! i know so much about oral sex that i could write a book on it!
his second error: approaching a little autistic freak with what he intended to be an uncomfortable sex question that would make me feel weird and gross. Friends, Romans, Countrymen, I Have Never Misjudged A Manâs Intentions So Incredibly In My Life. because i did not realize he was trying to harass me. because i love talking about sex facts, albeit not usually at work. unless. someone prompts me. my coworkers are the kind of people who are generally online enough to know terms, but not exactly what they mean, and they realized they could ask me a while back and get good answers without the resulting awkwardness because i do not experience shame. i am primed to answer questions like the one he has proposed.
So I Answered It.
and well, really, what happened is that I began answering it, then realized the answer required a bit more context. I mean, you canât just say âoh, well, the term first appears in writing in the 1940sâ without first explaining that âblowâ by itself already had sexual connotations for centuries, and then, really, are we talking about the origin of the term or the origin of the act. and well we have a ton of literature and art depicting fellatio throughout human history, did you know a lot of it was men performing it on other men? oh, that reminds me, there are a multitude of latin words for oral sex performed on penises, and hold on let me quote you the entirety of catullus 16 from memory and explain itâs fascinating insights into the roman world of homosexuality-
i do not know how to turn any of this ^ off, by the way. iâm sure some people out there have a switch that disables their infodumping mid-speech. i do not. and i also didnât realize he wasnât looking for a real answer until my other coworker explained so hours later. he could not excuse himself from the conversation he started, and i made a conservative man at least 30 years older than me to listen to my catullus recitation. i will sodomize and facefuck you, indeed.
anyway, i think i got a bad grade in being sexually harassed. my pro tip is maybe donât start with what a very autistic individual will misconstrue as you earnestly asking them to explain sex to you. the special interest shield will cause splashback damage.
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[Video description: Gritty is turning the crank on a flagpole to raise the Progress Pride Flag. He gesticulates angrily that the flag is not blowing in the wind, then gestures offscreen. The flag begins blowing. As Gritty begins raising the flag more, the camera pans out to show a man in a suit and sunglasses, looking like a stern Secret Service agent, is holding a leafblower that points at the flag. End description.]
I'm hiding! In the cookie jar! @yeahwellyourface - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook
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