Xzatiz

My very first giveaway! Always wanted to do one, and what better time than to do it during december month?!

People sometimes send me Asks wanting writing advice.  I suck at it.  I don’t really know how I do the writing, or how one should do the writing, or what one should do to get better at the writing.  All I can ever think to say is “write a lot of stuff and you will get better at the writing.”  Which is true, but hardly a bolt from the sky.

Well, as it turns out, I do have one piece of Legit Writing Advice, and I am going to share it with you, right now.  If you were in any of my writing workshop groups at a con, you’ve heard this advice already.

Warning: you’re going to fucking hate it.  But if you do it, you will thank me.

If you have a piece of fiction you’re serious about, something you might want to actually shop around, or just something you really are into and want to make it as good as you can…do NOT edit it.

Repeat.  DO NOT EDIT.

REWRITE.

As in, print out the whole fucking thing and re-enter it, every word (or use two screens).  Retype the whole thing.  Recreate it from the ground up using your first draft as a template.  Start with a blank page and re-enter every. single. word.

I hear you screaming.  OH MY GOD THAT’S INSANE.

Yes.  Yes, it is.

It is also the most powerful thing you will ever do for a piece of fiction that you are serious about.

Now, let’s get real.  I don’t do this for most things.  I don’t do it for my fanfiction.  But if it’s something original, something I might like to get to a professional level - I do it.  You absolutely COULD do it for fanfiction.  It’s just up to you and how much time you want to sink into a piece.

You can edit, sure.  But you WILL NOT get down to the level of change that needs to happen in a second draft.  You will let things slide.  Your eyes will miss things.  You will say “eh, good enough.”

The first time I did this, on someone else’s advice, I was dubious.  Within two pages, I was saying WHY HAVE I NOT BEEN DOING THIS ALL THE TIME.  I was amazed at how much change was happening.  By the time I got to the end, I had an entirely different novel than the one I’d started with.  When you’re already re-entering every single word, it’s easy to make deep changes.  You’ll reformat sentences, you’ll switch phrases around, you’ll massage your word choice.  You’ll discover whole paragraphs that don’t need to be there at all because they became redundant.  You’ll find dialogue exchanges that need reimagining.  Whole plot points will suddenly be different, whole story arcs will reveal their flaws and get re-drawn.

You cannot get down to the fundamental level of change that’s required just by editing an existing document.  You have to rebuild it if you really want your story to evolve.  You will be AMAZED at the difference it will make.

It will take time.  It will seem like a huge, Herculean task.  I’m not saying it’s easy.  It isn’t.  But it is absolutely revolutionary.

Try it.  I promise, you will see what I mean.

a really neurotic vegetarian vampire 

alice cooper, for no apparent reason

an evil supermodel called miranda goth 

three nine-year-olds climbing mount everest in diving helmets 

the entire population of scotland appearing out of literally nowhere to help defeat the antagonists 

a few people have been asking me to post extracts from this so uh

And I don’t mean like attractive cute, I mean like baby otter cute. What if the stumble upon us and go “ohhhhh my god!!! Oh my god!!!! I’m dying this is- look at it! Look at them!!! Oh my god!!!”

We usually imagine having to come up with some Devils trade or unholy arrangement to get tech and trade with aliens, but the instant they see us the aliens immediately set out into conservation efforts. They’re like “their habitat is becoming harsh and unlivable for them! We have to save them!” And everyone just puts a picture of us next to this information and they all agree “Look at them! We have to save them!!” We become like the panda mascots of intergalactic conservation efforts.

Simultaneously, our main export is just streams, videos, holograms, and photos of us. Aliens lose their composure completely over videos of us sneezing or yawning or eating pop tarts or playing video games or taking care of our kids.

There are lines of aliens who would LOVE to have a human in their home or on their ship. It’s a little condescending (we’re not sure if we’re guests or well treated exotic pets) but still a good opportunity, and any human who wants can go to space at any time basically for free or even for profit, and the aliens will go out of their way to give you anything you ask for.

shoutout to people with ocs who have them go through a million changed names and a million changed backstories, and still don’t feel like they’re up to the developmental standards that they should be…but they’re still loved by you regardless. shout out to people with ocs who want to share them with others, but are too anxious to tell information about them out of fear of judgment or laughter. And shout out to these same people who’re obviously adoring their creations but feel scared as shit to express the love out of your friend’s potential annoyance. shout out to people who make their ocs align with themselves in surname or quirks or just giving them those softer, hidden traits that also make you, you. to the peeps who feel so disappointed with their creations because again, they don’t feel good enough or accurate enough compared to other ocs. Nothing is perfect on the first draft, but they’re getting closer to perfected imperfection. to the creators who will write paragraphs about those brain children, paragraphs and concepts that have been building up for months only to be greeted with no response or simple replies such as, ‘oh.’ or to people who actually pay attention to them, and ask the BIG QUESTIONS and you’re just internally screaming and have to put on this cool act. shout out to people who spend hours thinking about how they sound like. (listening to voice clips for HOURS just thinking about your characters) What songs can apply to their personality and lifestyle…how they apply to them specifically.  shout out to big-brained creators who have a hundred and one characters and are greeted with, ‘isn’t that enough?’ when you talk about the concept of making a new one. If shows can have a vast cast of more than a ten to twenty characters, you can have your own vast cast too.  this post is just for people who feel so uneasy being so deeply involved and enthused in their creations. as if, there should be a limit on this type of love.  fandom ocs get stepped over and judged on sight, non-fandom ocs really get stepped over. But all that work and construction is valid and shows in your explanatory essay of their favorite genre. 

Poof found another pillar with a can.  Poof carefully approaches the can in a friendly manner. 

Poof found a pillar!  Poof can sit on it! Poof sits! 

Poof wonders if you’ve sat down for to long. Poof thinks standing up and stretching could be a good idea.

Hi!

I am Squishy the Poof, mostly known as Poof! 

I like to explore the world and go on adventures. 

I also like to sit on stuff.

Yes. Writing a book is the easiest thing in the whole world. In fact, let me show you just how easy it is!

Goal: change all this paper into a book.

Eh, not that hard. I mean, you just have to read, right?

Maybe scratch a few notes in the margins as reminders.

Yeah, writing and editing isn’t time consuming or painstaking at all.

In fact, I find it quite relaxing. Good meditation. No stress whatsoever!

I mean, it’s not like writing a book involves any train of thought or decision making, like when to cut scenes, because whatever you write is perfect and there to stay!

I mean, come on, it’s not like I’m going to rewrite the first chapter 51 TIMES to make sure it’s how I want it, right? That’d be crazy.

And no, it’s not like I spent over 3,000 HOURS READING AND REVISING 14 DRAFTS OF THE BOOK to make this book readable.

No sweat, no tears, no blood, and DEFINITELY no coffee stains.

Nope, writing is the easiest job in the world. I don’t see why anyone thinks otherwise. I mean, all we do is scribble words and take a few out, right?

We feel no satisfaction AT ALL when we receive a shipment of the final product for a book signing. *yawn* BOR–ING.

Nope, we don’t get excited at all. It’s just another day in the life.

And the sequels? Bitch, please. That’s child’s play.

BONUS: after their colonization of Britian, the native menfolk thought they were unfair because they took all the women folk by being handsomely groomed and BAthiNG regularly HOW DARE THEY. There’s a post about that floating around on tumblr you could probably find if you believe in yourself hard enough.

The modern interpretation of vikings, as with most distorted views of the barbarism of previous ages, was pretty much invented by British Victorians   as a combination of a sort of sensational hyper-masculine nostalgia (”remember when we were like being constantly invaded by those barbarians? That’s because they were brutes, but damn it those MEN were MEN*. I mean, they have to had been. They invaded us.”) and as a sort of self-congratulatory “well at least we aren’t like THAT any more” cultural asspat. It’s similar thing that happened with Renaissance scholars about the so-called “medieval period”, lots of facts were distorted or outright invented to make the current age and location look better. Which is not to say the Victorians also provided their own more romantic and chivalric idea of that period, too, which further distorts things.   IN ANY CASE Here’s a summary and extract of a book about Victorian ideas of Vikings, in lieu of me being too lazy to find a more comprehensive or succinct paper.