Okay! So, I'm up too late tonight with a, likely I guess π π€·, rebound headache from the ergotamine they gave me in the hospital. Which is after multiple times I was given one hormone or another, which also seemed to wear off & landed me back in.
I'm guessing I'm stupid sensitive to them. Which sucks. I've taken my ubrelvy, but had nurtec much earlier today (close to 12 hours ago but I mean it's an emergency I guess), a liquid multivitamin, magnesium citrate, Benadryl 25mg, magnesium taurine, & I'm hoping it works.
I've been going to the ER with severe migraines off & on for months, typically only a few weeks at most in between. I think at this point it is hormones & the longer lasting stuff in the cocktails they give me wearing off & then I end up with massive migraine attacks again & again.
I don't really know what to do. The hormone wears off & then I'm suddenly massively stressed & anxiety ridden without any way to calm down with any of my coping skills. Then huge migraine attack.
Same for the ergoline as they call it.
I can't take antipsychotics because they give me psychosis, fucking not great on that one. Need my ADHD meds, which on the days I can take them as prescribed I do better with less migraine, then they wear off & boop, migraine.
So the opposite of what online suggests it to be.
I have an important, at noon, meeting in my apartment today (yup it's today the 12th) later to have the go ahead to have them say I didn't fuck everything up & I'm allowed to live here for another year.
That's also not helping me with stress & anxiety which contributes to my migraines as well.
Then, because of multiple rounds of migraine cocktails, I'm pretty sure it's side effects of those at this point causing my issues, which could persist for (possibly) weeks or months.
Ergotamine, real quick, utter terrible. It made everything become something that is unrelaxing, unrelenting, & I have to pound my hands into something just to settle down a little.
The only one that made me tell them to just knock me out. Literally, just fucking put me to sleep. They gave me more Benadryl. Not totally better, they said something about histamine being released with it, so I guess it helped, but yeah I was already on my Zyrtec & my nasal spray fluticasone.
Came in with my ubrelvy already going, this Alka Seltzer antacid ibuprofen stuff, with the liquid multivitamin b vitamins in there & the magnesium. Couldn't function worth jack shit. Was able to hold myself together just long enough to get myself driven to the hospital.
I forced myself to get other needed things done, but fuck off. The most panic.
I finally let them benzo me with Ativan. Finally, been there a few times & it seems to help but I have to say I don't like being on something that can kill you if you become dependent on it & is still highly easy to have increased mood deregulation & possible rebound side effects too later.
Which is why I told them the last few times to not give it to me. Stuff is scary.
But genuinely started having weird intrusive thoughts for homicidal & suicidal things. I keep myself together & have thoughts, yes, but this shit was aggressive & brutal, with genuine difficulties not giving into sudden bursts of my brain trying to force reactions. Like literally just force it, like sudden brains tries to move hand to just punch something & I have to go like no, not doing that.
No idea why it's wanting to punch said thing but yes, can't relax wants punch something. Very similar to after hormone given in ER visit then my body was on fire & I needed to start running & screaming in terror while wanting to fight everyone around me.
Literal feelings I was having alongside of wanting to attack anything near me. Not angry, though. No rage, just do this & no reason to it. Nothing, no anger, no rage, no annoyance, just do it thing.
Fucking awful, then they shot me up with a bunch of benzo to knock me out. Helped out. Likely the hormones leaving, it made me massively anxious too, stupidly stressed out too.
Ergotamine (I believe was what it was) was that without the others or me involved, just hit the arms of the chair while sitting. Like pound into it in being uncomfortable massively, massively uncomfortable.
The only other one I would say, besides the hormones, just better to knock me out. Literally just sleep me up.
Fuck those things, not really ever worth it, I'd have to deal with it later too! I mean, yes maybe in really, rrrreeeaallllyyy severe cases, yes, but only with the understanding I'd be admitted to the hospital & could be given meds & treatment to deal with the side effects after for a few weeks possibly.
That's how fucking bad those were.
But, yeah they did ... Work I guess.
The Ativan, I can recommend for my type of migraines. They come with huge mood swings, stress, & anxiety. So yeah, benzos make sense to me. The magnesium citrate works, the moment I started back in that in my regimen as a daily, it helped reduce severity. Same for my liquid multivitamin trace minerals brand.
So that helps, the emgality works to help reduce, same for the nurtec & the ubrelvy when I need it.
All of that hasn't gotten rid of whatever it is that's been the cyclical problem.
Which, I think it's the er visits from last year that led to the issues. They correctly helped with meds, but the hormone & other treatments in the cocktail given, sadly for me, became a rebound & wears off later increases my sensitivity & other issues problem.
For me, that many times, it lasted just long enough that, unfortunately for me & anyone like me, that the risk of it causing further problems later was then actually something that happened & it became a cyclical issue that reoccurred over & over again.
Why did it happen? Because I didn't have my doctor do the prior authorization until I hounded them & I was off the emgality for about half a year. Taking my ubrelvy barely enough & then too much work with the rebound withdrawal symptoms from my main meds then coincided with the emergency room visit cocktail meds.
Same for not having my tremfya, which was like 7 or 8 months off. Psoriasis increases migraines, depression, anxiety, synaptic pruning, psychosis like issues, & more.
My inability to follow up with my doctors, which it should be automatic without me hounding them to do their actual literal jobs, caused my issues. Whatever they thought, think, etc of me also causing it to be slow & or not done isn't something that allows for that to be an correct or acceptable thing to do either. This is what my insurance allows for.
I could, technically, go to the ER... Again! But then I'll be telling them this is my concern & the best you can do is the toradol & Benadryl to help with whatever iv fluids & maybe the benzo?
Not what I'm looking to do. I'd liked to sleep, but I took my (which yes ergotamine seems to cause sleep disturbances, which have been happening for quite some time, around when I went to the ER for my mega bad migraine where I ended up calling the police fucking close to 20 times having my dad dodge a fucking ambulance because he could just drive me there faster & I doubted I could even get out of the truck into there but also was in massive panic & stress mode, & it's still true he did drive me there faster & the questions they were going to ask wouldn't have done anything, truthfully think of it as stupid on my part to not have gone with them but yeah, logic was sound still. Huge heart attack like symptoms, slurring words, left arm numbness & tingling, stroke like symptoms with weakness on one side, fucking ask me questions I'm sure I'll *proceeds huge panics attack & blaaaaaaaahhhhh happens* nope) night meds the day before, my lunesta.
Can't take my lunesta the very next day. Doesn't work as well but also causes dependency too.
Soooo.... Benadryl hasn't done much, just slightly sleepy. But I wasn't able to sleep before.
Oh Phaser has worms, tape worms looks like, & I was able to convince my parents to help me out with buying the OTC tape worm meds & flea & tick stuff, going to need to call the vets later today for an appointment for him to get checked out fully.
The OTC meds cover hook & round too, not heart. He keeps getting into dead animals, I haven't been able to get my shit together to get to the vet to get his meds & he hasn't had the preventative meds for a while. So this happened. Chronic issues not helping & my disabilities working together on that, plus my parents then going after me as well.
Need to get him in the preventative meds, somehow keep those payments up. Fucking shit sucks. Still looking for the chiropractor referral, the dentist referral I need for insurance to cover it isn't seeing any adults right now because they're booked. So waiting on something else. Need to call the ENT specialist, myself I guess, because they won't call me even though the referral went through.
The vision referral called me & the dermatologist for the tremfya did too. I went to them after my last er visit just to fucking get it done before I had more issues. Need labs done.
My dogs worms make me want to get tested, rare & I doubt it, but still. He sleeps with me on the bed so now I'm anxious about it.
Truthfully been having issues before the biologics that I attributed to age & stress, but honestly I don't think that fits anymore as it keeps getting worse. First layer labs look fine, nothing there. I need deeper which is my problem, they don't want to but now I need those because it is something. Not just normal fatigue, which could be the biologic. On no migraine & or psoriasis treatment, I did stupid (yes stupid) but still, incredible bike rides (again stupid & needed more water & food & sunscreen etc but still) that I couldn't even hope to match.
Let alone getting a hike that would be anywhere near that long as back then. Although I would recover for weeks sometimes, I literally couldn't even attempt that now. Weeks of barely walking because of pain from inflammation caused through those psoriasis issues & the migraines that ensued, but still I could.
Now.... Is it that? I was on humira (however you spell it) & it didn't work, but didn't cause this, in fact the migraine med emgality didn't seem to be that bad. I dunno what to tell you. I've just been getting slower & slower, more & more tired, less & less able with more things forgotten & unable to be done around my apartment even.
My treatment resistant (for everything sadly) major depressive disorder didn't go away, but got better with my ADHD meds in a good regimen. But that didn't really stop anything, like off my meds suddenly I can do things again like hike escudilla mountain. Suddenly I can get up & get going a bit again.
Am I frantic at times, yes, am I over eating at times, yes, am I also unable to stay on any task, no but kinda because any is a little too far honestly but kinda.
The problem with stimulants is that they don't treat all the areas of the brains under & over stimulation & arousal issues going on. But nonstimulants have caused psychosis, which straterra, Wellbutrin, actually I don't want to go online & search yet again all of them & I feel like that makes me look like I looked up meds to lie that I've been on even though it's just to remember. But it seems like all of them over 20+ years I've tried, even tricyclics, tetracylics, SSRI, snri, anticholinergics, mood stabilizers, antipsychotics, truthfully seems like everything.
Consistently the same results for me, opposite of what it's supposed to do, especially with time & dose, does nothing, does something else that comes with huge side effects others don't get & I must be lying.
Sometimes, lovely enough sometimes, it works & I can keep it! I love those ones. But damn it if it isn't shit. The withdrawals are tremendously terrible & my sensitivity seems to be heavily random to it too. Hormones & ergotamine are giving me huge side effects after a few uses?! Like fuck off what!?
Doctors give up because yeah what do you do. A patient that's tried basically everything & taking the risk is way more risky than before with other patients, then they are fucking knowledgeable like you on a lot of it, it becomes fucking horrendous to try. You'll hear them say side effects from meds that require much more actual use for those side effects to occur & then think it must be something else, but it isn't.
Lying, they took something, all nope. You can't do the same with them, completely disrupts their typical methods & makes them uncomfortable to prescribe like they should. You would need to be a psychiatrist who specializes in treatment resistant patients with alternative (migraines & psoriasis for my example) pathways to what is causing the issues going on. Hormones for psychiatric issues if they can cause me to fucking go bonkers like that in the emergency room, which is supposed to be a endocrinologist, but no!
That's right no! It's not, it's a psychiatrist that would be the one who could help, but even then the risk can be massive thanks to those issues. Dexamethasone? Or was it methylprednisolone? Those cause it? Fucking what?!
Not typical & yet I guess it is. Huge swings & fast, it suggests hormones & or other adjacent treatments can be immensely influential for me. For better or for worse. Same for those other pathways in the body & brain going on that cause those to go up & or down. Not typical testosterone pathways, likely.
How the fuck do I get treatment?!