lemon demon boy who eats lemons and is a demon

always important, but i feel like especially recently. particularly stuff that’s a bit more than just the usual “don’t post personal info”

feel free to share this post on twitter or anywhere else, staying safe is important

justdeleteme.xyz - direct links to delete accounts

how a photo’s hidden exif data exposes your personal information

have i been pwned? - check if your accounts have been compromised in a data breach. CHANGE ANY ACCOUNT THAT USES THE SAME EMAIL AND PASSWORD

online harassment field manual

form for removing personal information from google (for the eu), see also: “remove your personal information from google”

extreme privacy: what it takes to disappear (personal data removal workbook)

filter lists for ublock origin, and more

restore privacy - online privacy resources center

privacytools.io

online spyware watchdog

how secure is your password?

defensive computing checklist

cloudflare dns

non-technical tips on staying anonymous

webrtc leak shield - chrome, firefox

web safety tutorials by the electronic frontier foundation

[here I'm going to use transfem as a shorthand for someone transitioning who has a penis & scrotum, and transmasc for someone who has a vagina and a clitoris.]

for transfems - you can get vaginoplasty and/or orchiectomy and/or scrotectomy and/or penectomy, and I'm pretty sure I've heard of someone who got penile preserving vaginoplasty and phalloplasty!

for transmascs - you can get phalloplasty and/or metoidioplasty and/or scrotoplasty and/or vaginectomy and/or burial of the clitoris (or meta dick). and I've heard of someone getting a vaginectomy (with phallo I think) and then later getting a vaginoplasty.

in short, regardless of what you have now, you can have:

✅ a vagina

✅ no vagina

✅ a scrotum

✅ no scrotum

✅ testicles (/implants)

✅ no testicles

✅ one, two, or potentially even more penises (I'm sure there's someone out there who wants 3+ dicks)

✅ nothing at all (except somewhere to piss out of)!

✅ everything! (vagina + 1 or more penises + scrotum with or without testicles)

An example I like to use is how bratting can go too far. I have seen subs/brats use it as a venue to say genuinely hurtful things to their dom, even going as far as to legitimately trigger their mental illness (OCD in that case) on purpose and call it "bratting."

The only context in which this would be ok is if the dom has explicitly given consent to be triggered, and there is an understanding between partners that this is not a form of self harm. (For example, using triggers that have been consented to as a form of exposure therapy; this was not indicated in the example I gave which is very concerning).

1. Pass 100% of the time once people start seeing them as masculine. It remains super fucking variable tbfh, me and all the other trans men and mascs I know will get gendered correctly at one interaction and then be promptly called ‘missy’ around the next street corner even when there’s been no change. If I can get called a man at work that doesn’t mean I don’t have coworkers clocking me, it doesn’t mean our customers and clients all see me as a man, and it certainly doesn’t mean that I don’t get repeatedly treated as if I am most certainly NOT a cisgender man. We’ve forgotten, it seems, that there is a difference between passing as a certain gender to strangers a portion of the time and being genuinely stealth in that you’re read as 100% cisgender male 100% of the time, and stealthness is pretty much unacheiveable for the majority of transgender men for a wide variety of reasons. Stealth passing is also NOT AN OPTION FOR ANYONE WHO ISNT TOTALLY BINARY THATS JUST BEING IN A DIFFERENT CLOSET.

2. As if when we DO pass as cisgender men, that we pass as STRAIGHT ones. Almost all the trans men I know, REGARDLESS OF THEIR SEXUALITY, are generally read as queer men when being assumed as men at all. Including myself. And for any transmen and mascs who AREN’T 100% normatively attracted only to heterosexual women (and like, are we forgetting the comments that mixed sex and gender T4T couples get???) then it’s like. Okay so you can attempt to closet your sexuality or just get called a faggot/sissy/etc. just like any other fucking gay guy and for the ones who ARE just binary, perisex, heterosexual and heteroromantic you either get constantly accused of being a gay man or just called a fuckin lesbian if a single little bit of your stealth passing gets found out.

3. Trans men and mascs who do pass, stealth or otherwise, somehow magically are not affected by homophobia and every other piece of hate and prejudice directed towards queer men of all sorts. Trans men and mascs who pass as male but are GNC, who are not straight, who have men or mascs or otherwise NB people as partners, who crossdress or who do drag face the exact same fucking hate that a cisgender AMAB person in those situations face. No one has EVER asked a man they intend to hate crime for being a faggot if they were trans first, nor has a hate crime ever stopped because some one was. It only ever escalates.

Passing as a man in the eyes of the general public only means that I’m treated as a queer man, until I’m clocked or outed, in which case I’m treated as a broken woman.

gynecological healthcare is NOTORIOUSLY bad, underresearched and exclusionist.

and dont tell me its because I'm trans, i am a man and they dont want me in these spaces on the basis of me being a MAN. men require this healthcare too, full stop. i belong in these spaces while being a man. i deserve to be safe in the gynecologists office while being a man. i deserve to be acknowledged as a man while getting the healthcare i require.

"people see you as a man so you dont experience misogyny"

until i require reproductive healthcare, where I'm either actively excluded for being a man, or I'm judged and experience misogyny due to my proximity to masculinity and not "woman-ing" correctly. where I'm assumed to be a woman because this healthcare is literally known as "women's care" and i must be some disgusting degenerate because of how i look, vagina or not.

y'all are losing the plot. let me make myself abundantly clear:

i do not believe transmasculine people should have to unilaterally defend all women. i believe transmasculine people deserve to be defended and vulnerable, because they are at significant risk. in fact, i believe cis women should be more concerned with defending trans men. i believe that transmasculine people are too pressured to repress their vulnerability and not talk about their problems in favor of ending every thought with 1000 caveats about how it's obviously actually about women and all women always have it worse no matter what, and that they feel pressured to put themselves at disproportionate, unnecessary risk of transphobic violence just to avoid being called a gender traitor.

in addition, this post is not about women. it is about trans men and their rights, and their lives, and their needs, and the fact that they deserve to center that.

likewise, i believe that transmasculine people need language to describe a framework of how systemic transphobia affects them specifically, and that that systemic transphobia goes way deeper than just what i discussed in this post. frankly it's kind of insulting to claim that this little positivity post is all there is to it.