Context: Our rogue (it’s always, always the rogue) tries to sneak into a castle to lower the moat bridge for us. He’s been assassinating the guards Assassin’s Creed style. He hadn’t been hiding the bodies.
DM: As you are laying your (latest) victim quietly to the floor, you hear a shout, followed by a multitude of boots running through the corridors, towards your location. You have a few minutes before they get to you, what do you do?
Rogue: Oh, shit. Well, uh, -points to map- what’s this room [right next to me]?
DM: You look up and see a door labeled “Bathroom”.
Rogue: Cool, I’ll drag this dude in with me and shut the door.
DM: …you simply shut the door?
DM: roll sleight of hand.
DM: you shut the door a tiiiiny bit harder than you intended. A shockwave of sound travels throughout the castle. The air is deathly quiet. Any last words?
Rogue: i strip this dude down and wear his armor.
DM: since this guy has a lot of stuff equipped and you only have a few precious minutes, I’ll make you roll sleight of hand for it.
Rogue: 6, plus modifier, that’s a 13.
DM: Ok. You strip the guy and you strip yourself, but you realize you can’t possibly put on his armor in time. The door-
Rogue: I VIGOROUSLY HUMP THE CORPSE AND MAKE OUT WITH IT LOUDLY
Rogue: i rolled an 18 on deception?
DM: The door is yanked open by a guard, who sees two hairy men going at it furiously. The guard slams the door shut and you hear the cacophony of boots fade slowly into the distance.
Rogue: can I roll to see what it tasted like?
DM: no. it tasted like blueberry.
