😂😭 so actually i lied the other day. the guy is an asshole. i didn't want to accept it at the time bc for so many months i thought he was a nice and decent guy and my friend, but he is a coward at best and a cruel asshole at worst. he had a girlfriend this whole year, but deliberately chose to never mention her to me, almost certainly bc he enjoyed the attention i gave him and the social and intellectual validation therein. (funnily enough, even if i had known about her from the start, i still would've tried to befriend him!! i did enjoy talking to him, platonic or not!)
i think he expects me to keep quiet about this. and i cannot help but feel that there's a racialized component to how he treated me. asian women can't help themselves around white men, right? and i know most people look at me and see the epitome of the quiet, docile, submissive asian girl stereotype. and i don't know what to do or if there is anything to do. i'm literally The Race Scholar in my cohort (for better or worse). my thesis is literally going to be on racial power differentials in a romantic relationship. and he KNOWS this. and he still did what he did. (silver lining: this whole experience is great for my research, lol.)
mostly i feel stupid and ashamed even though i know it's not my fault. i was operating on the information that i had and he was purposely withholding key information. but i still can't believe he took advantage of me and used me for an ego boost. it just really, really sucks and i feel really small and fragile and hurt
baratheonpilled
prguitarman
turnnoffyourmind
theartofmadeline
blakekathryn
areudirty
yousharknotpass
