anodyne androgyne

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

every spelunker should go in with a cyanide tooth capsule so if they get stuck they can take the gentle way out instead of being tortured by the earth for 72 hours and then dying anyway

perhaps the mother loves the cuckoo chick. perhaps the cuckoo chick loves her mother. have you not considered this?

It probably is kind of fun to be a parent bird and find big fat bugs to put in your child’s goalpost mouth. And the more you do it the larger your baby gets, which shows your progress. Mine is reaally big, think I’m going to get a high score this time. It has a unique skin too, I’ve never even seen this one before. Has anyone gotten that one, dark brown and white belly with stripes? It’s not even in my Wrenpedia, it has to be a really special unlock

I’d appreciate if you didn’t call my child a “parasite”, thank you very much! Typical r/childfree

genuinely it is so funny that if you are a woman with armpit and/or belly hair people will automatically assume that you must have pronouns lmao

a girl at the gym very politely asked me the other day if i used pronouns other than she/her and i was just like nahh man i just don't like shaving??

IT KEEPS HAPPENING!!?!?

backless tops were invented because the feeling of a woman's hair brushing against her back reminds her of being a pine cone, from which women evolved, constantly being caressed by pine needles

When all you have is a handsaw, every problem looks like a beautiful lady in a box. And you have a magician outfit. And people are watching.

"Strong Twink Summer" i kubrick-stare mutter into the bathroom mirror at 6am. "I will not be milk twink. I *will not* be a milk twink."