fuck it up melvin!!!

They found a fossilized neanderthal dream in a hollow stump in Poland. And yes, it can be fermented into alcohol to gain his cave memories.

it’s so hard for me to listen to heartbroken/angry breakup songs by straight men bc no matter how good the song is i’ll be like i’m not sure if i fully believe you. let’s hear her side of the story.

mathematics is a sort of goo/ooze secreted by human minds when they rub against a universe

#and so is art

you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.

Crazy that tech has gotten so bad that we're doing printer forgiveness now

see every time i see this status i get angry because i’ve played through literally every scenario in rct1 and there is no place where this is a thing. there is never more than one park per map. and in rct2 you can’t make that happen i the scenario editor either. it is not remotely within the game’s functionality to simulate two discrete parks and these games were coded in assembly for christ sake so it’s not like someone modded it in by adding the line “int const TOTAL_NUM_POSSIBLE_PARKS = 2;”. there is no conceivable way this post is anything close to true and even though i know how writing all this out reflects upon me as a person and even though i know exactly how meaningless and trifling of a takedown attempt this is on some random facebook screencap with hundreds of thousands of notes im going to post it anyway because i’m too petty to have any say in the matter

"🥪" is shorthand for "🍞🧀🍅🥬🍞"

you watch a car commercial and the car is presented as a masculinity carapace and this idea persists as if we don’t all know that the car is actually a second womb and every arrival + subsequent exit from the vehicle is a rebirth — it’s obvious why straight men feel such an attachment, and doubly obvious why they don’t want you to know. the trained eye can locate the mother wound of every car driver within seconds.

has anyone considered that it was probably her house too. where else was she supposed to put her chintz?