in night springs

tumblr mobile won’t load but I bet it’s the fucking mirror lasers

People whose first language isn’t English please guess the meaning of this

What in God’s name is business casual

Thanks I got the job!

i am so tired of peeing. i drink the water, which i apparently need to live or something, then i have to go put the water somewhere else five minutes later. i drink the water, i go to a place to un-drink the water, i wash my hands, i leave, then i have to drink more water. guess where that water ends up? not in me! i give the water to my body and like a child it tosses it out and demands more. all hours of the day all hours of the night no matter what i am doing my life is interrupted by piss and this is bullshit

This sounds like it was written by a powerful being that is trapped in a human vessel and keeps having their plans thwarted by bathroom breaks. 

You know too much.

i thought this was a constable frozen edit

Apparently the plot for this movie is that all the stars are dying and barbie needs to find a way to stop the universe succumbing to a cold dark end which is honestly more terrifying than a lot of actual scifi

Barbie and the heat death of the universe

everyone’s having their mid-life crises at like 19

I wish I put as much effort into my life as Phil Collins did into the Tarzan soundtrack

One time my Spanish 2 teacher was like “I dont have a lesson today. We’re watching Tarzan” and put it in the VHS (This was 2010). We [sophomores - seniors, I was a junior] were super excited. The movie starts and my friend and I look at each other and say at the same time “IS PHIL COLLINS SINGING IN SPANISH?!” I went home that night and found out Phil Collins sang the songs in the English, Italian, German, Spanish, and French versions of the film. Mind blown.

He did not have to go that HORD but Phil did it for us

this man is living in 3019

That cat on the left looks like a grasshopper spider

this guy would survive in movies

girl i hope you appreciate your boyfriend. he just stood practically on top of a horror movie monster so you could get out of the elevator first. he loves you.

are we going to ignore the actress who got kicked in the face

well thats the price you pay for fucking terrifying someone

This whole post is GOLD

Every discussion point on this post is gold

Queens of Awesome

do celebrity pets know they’re pets of celebrities