Its all Wooyoung can think as he coughs out flowers, stems digging into his throat painfully. He sits infront of the toilet, eyes red and dried tear tracks on his cheeks. “Woo?” He jumps but relaxes at Yeosang’s voice. “Sangie?” He coughs out blood before getting up carefully and opening the door, letting the older take in his appearance before tugging him in. “You’re not going to tell him? You’re just going to die with his name on your lips?” He closes his eyes and slides down the door as Yeosang starts.
“Are you listening? Wooyoung this is hard for me too. Im watching my best friend die because hes too stubborn to tell San or get the surgery!”
“YEOSANG! This is harder for me then it is for you!! You want me to chose to get the surgery, forget San only to go through this all over?! Be in pain?! I have to watch San be so happy whenever Seonghwa hyung is around! I’m happy hes happy with hyung!!” He chokes on a sob. “All i want is San to be happy!” Wooyoung leans forward, hand clawing at his throat and he coughs up more petals.
Neither are expecting a knock on the door and they both fall quiet. “Wooyoung? Yeosang? I know youre in there...”
Wooyoung, panic ridden stares at Yeosang whos staring at the door. No one but Yeosang knows of his situation and Wooyoung bursts into tears again at the thought of more people finding out about his feelings.
“Can you let me in?” Wooyoung hiccups but moves and lets Yeosang open the door, their leader of their little college group making a beeline for Wooyoung who has blood dripping down his chin onto his chest, tears following. “Hyung.” His voice crack and both Yeosang and Hongjoong’s hearts crack at the same time.
Their brightest little star, one half of their two loudest members, broken and crumbled on the ground. “Hyung it hurts. All of it. Loving him, seeing him happy with someone else, seeing him happy talking to him. We are growing farther apart...he doesnt even call me by the nickname he gave me...” Wooyoung rubs his eyes. “It’s hurting so much hyung.” Hongjoong’s heart cracks a little more.
Yeosang is staring out the door, locking eyes with the rest of their group minus the two in mention and bites his lip. “Wooyoung i think you need to tell them...they heard us screaming.”
Wooyoungs lip trembles before hes looking down, pushing himself away from Hongjoong. “Get out.” Its quiet, so unlike Wooyoung. “What?” He hears Yeosang mumbles and he sniffles. “Get out!”
Everyone tenses at the new voice, San stands their, in confusion and in horror once he takes in Wooyoungs appearance. Wooyoung stands up and shoves both Hongjoong and Yeosang out of the bathroom and slams it shut, locking the door, ignoring the calls of his name and the knocking on the door. He turns and falls to his knees infront of the toilet, letting out the flowers that had lodged in his throat.
Did San hear everything? Does he know? He spits out petals and blood and he stares at the mess in the water. Blood and brightly coloured flowers. “So pretty...” He whispers, blocking out the worried cries of his name. “Would it be better to forget him? Have Yeosang and Hongjoong keep us apart.” He rubs his eyes, laying on the bathroom floor and staring at the ceiling.
“Doctor said i have a year to choose...” He curls onto his side. “Do i die loving him, remembering him?” He sniffles, waiting for the noise outside the door to die down, footsteps signaling everyone's departure, their worried voices still spreading through the door and into his ears.
Once hes sure everyones left hes slipping out the door and into his room, locking the door. He really doesnt want to talk to anyone at the moment but...He looks at his phone and bites his lip. Can he forget about his feelings? Get over them and will the pain will stop? The flowers will stop? He presses a button and automatically a voice answers
“Woo?” He chokes and the voice raises. “Woo are you ok?” He sniffles. “Noona can i come over? Please?” His sister goes quiet. “Are you going to be ok?” Wooyoung smiles sadly. “Once i forget about him it will be.” His sister cant help her shaking voice. “Yes Wooyoung you can come over.” He automatically starts shoving clothes and things in his duffel bag. “Ill be there soon noona.” He whispers before hanging up, a lasting i love you in the air.
He debates on how he could leave, cross through the living room, where he knows everyone is waiting, or jump out the window? It was only the second story and there was a easy to climb tree right outside...making up his mind he writes a note to Hongjoong and Yeosang before placing them on his bed along with his necklace and hesitating as he looks at his bracelet, he knows it's not on San's wrist anymore, he watched him take it off. He took off his own and hid it in Yeosangs note before unlocking his door and turning to climb out his window.
He glances back once hes outside, smiling sadly and the memories he would force himself to forget before he starts half running towards where his sister lives. He can forget, he could make new friends, ignore them, get a new phone and change his number. Easy.
He looks at his phone and through all the pictures, half of them are him and San. He sniffles, glancing when he hears a call of his name and he rubs his eyes, his footsteps taking off once he sees who it is.
Hes not dealing with San right now, its exactly who he was avoiding.
He clenches his fist as he weaves in and out of people in the street, successfully losing his pursuer. He knocks on the door quickly and his sister swings the door open, gasping. “You look horrible.” He forces a smile once she drags him in and shuts the door. “You went out like this, blood everywhere and tears....” He trails off before leading him towards her bathroom to clean him up.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Hes quiet before nodding. “They found out...” She glances at him before helping him take his shirt off. “All of them?” Her heart cracks when he nods, eyes glassy and replaying memories. “Did he find out?” Wooyoung shrugs but leans into his sister when she pulls him into a hug.”I dont know...he saw me like this then i shut everyone out of the room...and now im here.” He whispered. "Yeosang will probably find out where i am...and be here soon once they see everything...” He rubbed his eyes.
“I want it to stop...everything hurts. He is so happy with him, he looks and hyung like he hung the stars for him..” He clenches the shirt in his his hands once hes changed. “He barely talks to me anymore. Noona i miss him. But maybe this is what needs to happen, we forget about each other.” His sisters heart breaks and she buries her face in his hair. “Woo you’ve known him almost as long as Yeosang, thats since 5th grade...” He shook his head. “He promised we would never forget or leave each other. But thats happening. Hes leaving me, forgetting about me. But hes still there, just enough that i dont forget about him.”
His eyes harden. “I hate him. I hate them. I hate that this is happening.” She strokes his hair and he sniffles. “What are you going to do Woo?” She is almost afraid of the answer. “Leave. Forget all of them. Forget Sangie and Joongie hyung.” He clenches his fist. “Make new friends, avoid them.”
His sister knows he wont be able to do that. When Wooyoung loves he loves with all his heart. He loves his group, he loves so purely and so strongly. Wooyoung loves Yeosang, he loves Hongjoong and Yunho. He loves Mingi and Jongho. He loves San and Seonghwa. He loves them.
She nods, and kisses his head. “School is tomorrow Woo, how about you get some sleep and ill wake you up for breakfast, its already late enough.” He nods. and does as says, passing out once his head hits the pillow.
They are panicked, Wooyoung isnt in his room, his necklace is on the two notes. The same necklace they got as friendship markers in freshman year of highschool. They all come to a silent conclusion.
He made his choice, he wants nothing to do with them anymore.
Yeosang is quiet but he turns towards San and Seonghwa, eyes filled with nothing but burning hatred and rage. An expression they have never seen in his eyes, no matter how many times they had teased him or Wooyoung. They all take a step back. “Yeosang dont-”
Hongjoong’s mouth snaps shut with an audible click, not expecting the deadly calm voice. Yeosang grips the necklace in his hand, and the bracelet that he had found hidden in the note directed at him, the same bracelet that was currently on his own wrist...but not on San’s. He can feel himself shaking with rage, anger at San, anger at Seonghwa, livid that Wooyoung left because of them. Angry tears turn his eyes glossy but he refuses to let them spill.
“You.” His voice doesnt belong to him, its deeper, deadly and so full of emotion yet emotionless.
“This is your fault.” He begins, cutting off Seonghwa, eyes locked on San who looks like hes about to cry. “Dont you dare fucking cry. Do you see this.” He thrusts the jewelry forward, bracelet most obvious. “Where the fuck is it on your wrist? Did you forget about him? The promise we all made, do we mean nothing to you?” He jerks his hand away when San goes to touch the jewelry, holding it to his chest, anger changing into pure sadness. He lost his best friend, his only friend.
His chest shakes with the effort to not cry. “Dont touch it. Dont touch me. Dont...youve done enough damage.” Its a whisper but San flinches.
“He’s dying y’know.” San’s breath hitches. “What you saw was the aftermath. Hes dying slowly. Because of you.” Yeosang rubs his eyes before glaring at San and Seonghwa behind him.
Shoving the bracelet into his own pocket he places Wooyoungs necklace down and staring at it before taking his own off. “He’s dying because he loves you, he loves so strongly and so purely. He is dying because hes coughing up flowers and he wants to see you happy even if the cause isn't him. He loves you that much. But theres no doubt that he left because he wants to forget you.” He placed it next to Wooyoungs and he picked up a picture Wooyoung had knocked over. It was of the three of them, bracelets on show with wide grins, cheeks pressed together and joy in their eyes.
“Dont contact me. Dont contact Wooyoung. This is your fault.” He placed it back before looking at San. “Dont interact with us.” The last image they had of their friend was his pure hatred and rage directed at San. and the piercing words he last said.
And he left, closing Wooyoung’s door with a quiet shut but the front door slamming signaled his leave.
Yeosang went straight to where he knew Wooyoung would be staying, he knocks on the door quietly and softens when he sees Wooyoungs sister open the door, her gaze automatically searching for San. “He isnt here. He wont ever be.” He whispered.
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