Always Be With You - Choi San
Song Request: Always Be With You by Standing Egg
Requested by: @8liralik-armin-albumu
Genre: PURE FLUFF AND ROMANCE
A/n: This song got me all romantic!!!!!! Ahhh, it reminded me of the silent support that comes from a lover. A lover who supports their beloved one from the shadows, silently and fully. I hope you like it 💕 (and I chose flute cuz I play flute and it is a naive and beautiful instrument in my opinion, just like y/n)
“San, I don’t wanna go.” You told him while lying in bed together, the day after your dinner, cuddling.
“I know baby, but you have to.”
“Why would I? I can go on my education here.”
It was a nice, cloudy and rainy afternoon. You two were lying in your bed. Your head was on his chest, he kissed your hair while playing with its strings.
“You know I will never stop loving you..” he mumbled.
“I know baby, but it will be so much better for you to use this chance. I mean, you have so many classmates and no one got the invitation for that art school except you..”
“But what if I can’t keep up with the students there. That school is one of the biggest ones. Am I enough? Will I ever be enough?”
“Don’t worry, y/n. I believe in you. You’ll be able to create amazing things with them. You’ve impressed me with your skills, you’ve impressed them with your skills.. You’ll be able to impress anyone. You’re more than enough, don’t worry baby. I will always be here, supporting you.”
“But what if we fall apart?”
“I’ll still support you.”
You were invited to one of the biggest art schools in world. You were studying music and were very good at playing flute. Of course your talent for it didn’t go unnoticed. When one of your professors told you that you were invited to that college, you literally jumped out of happiness. Your family accepted this news with so much joy and excitement. They even threw a small party for you that afternoon. It was like a fairytale until you realized.. This might’ve meant the end of your 3-year relationship with San. You totally forgot to tell him since he was busy that day and you two hadn’t texted since that morning. It suddenly dawned on you. How would he react? What were you going to do? How were you going to tell him?
You decided to call him over that night and talk to him face to face. You prepared a dinner for two and a nice ambience, and waited for him to come. When finally the door bell rang, you took a deep breath and prayed all Gods for talking to him to be easy.
“Hi babe!” He handed you a single white rose before stepping in. He knew it’s meaning and he always loved to call you his white rose. Instead of the classic red rose, he loved to give you white ones as they symbolized purity, innocence and sympathy. You were as tender and elegant as an angel for him and he always loved to see you with white colored things.
“Hi, welcome baby. Thank you for the rose, it’s beautiful..”
“Not more than you.” He smiled while hugging you and kissing your forehead.
“Are you hungry? Let’s eat. I prepared everything you like.”
“Let’s eat then, thank you.”
You were mostly silent during the dinner and it didn’t go unnoticed by San. He still waited for you to finish eating and tell him yourself.
“San.. I have something I need to tell you.”
“I can see,baby. What is it?”
“Umm, I- I got an invitation for a college in Germany. An art school. One of the best ones..”
“WHAT- OH WOW Y/N!!!! I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE SO TALENTED AH I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!! ARE WE CELEBRATING THAT?? YOU SHOULD’VE TOLD ME SOONER I WOULD’VE BROUGHT A GIFT!! Ah I’m so proud of you!”
He stood up from his chair and hugged you tightly.
“I love you so much, I’m so happy! You made me so proud!!” He mumbled in your ear after kissing your hair.
“What? Why? Why baby?? What’s the problem ?”
“I realized if.. If I go.. You and I won’t be able to see each other for a long time. I just don’t wanna do this.”
“Y/n! Stop being ridiculous! Do you want me to get mad? Of course you’ll accept that invitation! Of course you’ll go! Do you really think I can sit here and be with you happily, knowing that I caused you to miss such a chance? Have you not learn anything about me? Baby.. I know it will be hard but please.. How can I go on with my life knowing that I caused such a thing? I promise I will always support you even when you’re away! I promise I will be with you even when you’re away!! I will never stop loving you, please don’t decline that invitation. I’ll be fine, please think about your own future..”
“There’s no ‘but’, y/n.. Please.. If you stay I will never forgive myself.”
“Yes.. I promise we will.”
Now that he knew you would accept the invitation even though you say you don’t want to, San was aware that this was one of your last afternoons together.
“Yes, I promise I will keep supporting you even if we fall apart one day.”
“Thank you San. You’re always so understanding and so kind to me. I don’t know what would’ve I done if I were in your shoes.”
“You would’ve done the same, baby.”
He tightened his arms around you.
It was a nice afternoon after all..
Finally it was the day of your flight. Everyone was there including your family, friends and San. Everyone was happy, smiling. Well, everyone but San. You could see the sadness in his eyes he tried so hard to hide. You believed if you looked at your reflection you could’ve seen the same expression on your face. One by one you hugged everyone leaving San last. When it was his turn, you hugged him so tightly, he laughed slowly but there was something missing in his laugh. The actual joy.. It was missing. You knew it was hard for him too even though he never showed you until that moment.
“San,” you whispered in his ear, “be happy.”
“You be happy too” he whispered back, taking your hair’s smell in one last time.
“I probably won’t be able to come here in this year..” you said.
“San,” you pulled yourself back, and looked in his eyes.
“I want you to be happy with whoever you want.”
“Y/n,” he laughed “you’re being ridiculous again. You know I only want you.”
“I know.. Just wanted to let you know it’s okay for me.”
You kissed him one last time before leaving for your plane. When you turned back to look at all of your beloved ones, you saw San’s back. He was also walking, but to the opposite direction of yours. You took a deep breath and finally left that place.
It was a long flight and a tiring one for you. Once you landed, you let everyone know that you arrived safely. And then-
Then you blocked San from all of your social media, you blocked his number,too.
You believed it was the best for both of you. You knew it would be hard for you without san but it would’ve been harder if you tried to keep your relationship going while you’re away. It would hurt both of you. Whenever San saw a couple, he would’ve thought about you and would’ve felt miserable. You knew it, because it was the same for you too. So blocking him out of your life would be letting him find someone to be with him forever and it also would be letting yourself to adapt the new place better. That was what you thought, at least..
It had been four years since you left San. Of course the common friends tried to talk to you about it, they tried to tell you about San’s condition in the first year but you never listened. You never turned back to your country for four years, both because of the lack of money and because of San. And it was over like that. Now that you turned back to there for the first time as the main fluttist of an academy’s orchestra, you reminded of San immediately.
It didn’t matter how hard you tried to convince the chef to take another fluttist instead of you, he insisted on taking you and there you were. At the backstage of a theater trying to calm yourself down.
“I will always support you even if we fall apart.”
San’s voice echoed in your ears. Would he support you after so many years? Your mom told you about the posters of the recital and she told you that your name was written in big characters. The posters were everywhere in the city. She told you that all of your friends called her and congratulated her after calling you. She didn’t say anything about San. But he must’ve seen it by now, you thought to yourself.
“Okay, is everyone ready? Let’s go!”
After hearing your chef’s voice, every voice disappeared for you except for your heartbeat.
Would he be there for you still after so many years?
You got on stage, reverenced kindly and got your position on stage. You saw every one of your friends clapping crazily, you saw your family with big smiles on their face. But that was all.
You smiled shortly to your friends and family before starting the piece.
It was the first time your hands trembled that much on stage.
It was the fist time your hearth clenched this much.
You closed your eyes and focused on your instrument trying not to mess up with metronome.
First piece ended perfectly. You heard applauses everywhere. It took you a while to bring yourself to open your eyes.
And you saw him as soon as you opened your eyes.
Clapping slowly with a broken smile on his face, there he was.
Away from all of your friends and family..
He was standing there alone.
He suddenly became the only thing you could see in that big theater salon.
You could hardly pick up what he mouthed you.
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