i am 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒚. i am 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅.

David still doesn't understand why Charles chose to abandon him. wouldn't he have been safer in the protective embrace of a father who understood him ?? instead, he felt banished to the realms of insanity, locked away with nothing but the voices to keep him company. it hurts- oh how it hurts. David just wants his father to love him. why doesn't he love him ??

David.

no, he's not going to listen. he doesn't want to right now. everything is always so loud- for the moment, he relishes in the silence. then, he finally speaks, his voice quiet, shattered by the broken pieces of what's left of his sanity. does Charles know ?? does he see his son, broken beyond repair ??

"it's not your fault," he says finally, eyes cast downwards. the voices threaten to break through the barriers, but he keeps the volume low. all he wants right now is to hear his father's voice. nothing else is important to him now. "you didn't know what was going to happen. i mean - you abandoned me, but you thought . . . you thought that was for the best. right ?? you gave me away to keep me safe. it wasn't because you didn't want me . . . right?"

oh, this again ?? we've talked about this.

he didn't want you, David.

don't listen to him, David. i'm sure he wanted us- you.

David's frown deepens, eyebrows pinched together as he tries to ignore the voices in his head. he wonders if Charles can hear them, too. he wonders what he must think about him- about them. would he still want him if he knew about all the things inside his head ?? he chews on his fingernails, uncertain; the fear of abandonment keeps him from speaking his truth. he just wants to be loved. can his father love him now ??

"Yes, I thought what I was doing was for the best but I was young and scared. I didn't even know what doing right by myself was yet much less how to do right by a baby. I've told myself that you were better off without me about a million times but each time I do I wonder if you really were." Charles runs a hand down his face then looks at David with a sad smile "That and I didn't lead the type of life that I would have wanted a baby around so not only did I do it because I thought it was what was best I was also trying to protect you in the bargain." He shakes his head, sighing

"The more I think about it the more I regret ever doing that to you David. I should have kept you here with me at the school, mutant or no, and we could have had the adventure of growing up together. You into a man and me into a father. Instead we have this but I will tell you one thing and if it's the one thing that you take away from everything you learned about me it is this I love you David. It may not seem like it to you right now and I can see why but I do and there's nothing that is going to take that away from you." Charles then gets up and moves over to him

"You are my son David and I would like to have some kind of place in your life as it continues but if you don't wish that then I'll leave you alone about it. I'm not going to try and force you into acknowledging me or anything of the sort." He moves past him to the window, looking out over the grounds of the school and watching the younger children play "You could have a place here David, not that you aren't welcome here anytime you wish to come but you could have something permanent if you wished it. I'll come clean about this, I'm a selfish man and I want to get to know my son before it's to late if it's not already."

"I really would like to get to know you better if you'd allow me so what if we went for a walk around the grounds? Would you be interested in that or would you rather I just stick with my regular walk alone today? I already said I don't want to push and that includes talking to me." Charles glances at David now with a bit of a smile on his face "You can throw me in the pond if we go for a walk or we can look at the trees in the wood or their leaves and see all the fall colors before it all goes dormant again for the winter."

David follows Charles to the window to look down at the children in the yard, his frown still prominent on his face. they looked so happy, so carefree . . . he doesn't know if he'll ever feel that way. he places a hand on the window and sighs deeply, wishing that it could have been him growing up, happy. it's not to say that he lead the worst life, because he had Amy and his adopted parents who loved him very much, but . . . there was always that darkness lurking from behind every window and every door, waiting to strike. he'd been haunted his entire life.

"they thought i was crazy," he says, voice just as quiet as before as he continues to stare at the window. "mom and dad- they thought i was crazy. had me on every medication possible to try and dull out the noise. medication can only do so much . . . everything has always been so loud." he looks at Charles then, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he does. "i thought i was crazy. i mean- maybe i am, maybe this is all still a part of the delusion. i don't know. i don't know what to believe anymore."

he wants to believe that Charles loves him, but it's such a foreign concept. everyone that loved him has abandoned him. his parents, Syd, Amy, Lenny . . . they've all left him. he doesn't want Charles to leave, too.

below is a list of starters from both sides of the conversation , with prompts geared toward scenes involving some sort of confrontation. prompts rage from friendly to not so friendly. please consider following for more prompts and please do not steal!

❛ i can't believe you hid this from me. ❜

❛ that's it. we need to talk about this. right here. right now. ❜

❛ don't see how we can get around talking about this anymore. ❜

❛ you can't just keep avoiding me! ❜

❛ i'm not leaving until we talk about this. ❜

❛ come on just . . . talk to me. ❜

❛ all this time . . . and it was all a lie? ❜

❛ i trusted you. ❜

❛ did you think i wasn't going to notice? ❜

❛ start talking. now. ❜

❛ when are you going to stop lying to me? ❜

❛ i just wanna talk. ❜

❛ can we talk about this? please? ❜

❛ i came to talk this out. ❜

❛ you and i can work this thing out. ❜

❛ enough lies. tell me the truth! ❜

❛ i just wanna know what happened. ❜

❛ you can tell me. ❜

❛ just . . . start from the beginning. ❜

❛ are we gonna talk about this like grownups? ❜

❛ can you just be an adult about this for once?! ❜

❛ i didn't think it was gonna be so hard to talk about it. ❜

❛ i don't wanna talk about it. ❜

❛ i said leave it alone! ❜

❛ it's not that simple. ❜

❛ can we just . . . not talk about this right now? ❜

❛ i didn't want to see you get hurt. ❜

❛ okay fine. you wanna talk about it? here it is , ❜

❛ i kinda hoped you would just ignore it. ❜

❛ okay , fine just . . promise you won't get mad. ❜

❛ i don't wanna lie to you. ❜

❛ i wish it were that simple. ❜

❛ we passed the talking stage a long time ago. ❜

❛ the truth is more painful. ❜

❛ the beginnings , still a little hazy. ❜

she's trying to fool us.

ha !! what a joke.