wolfii returns

Literally always take headphones with you. If you decide that you probably won't need them today, that's the devil talking. You will. You will

This is the photo I want on my passport

JUMPING ON THIS OPPORTUNITY

LAST YEAR WE CAN REBLOG THIS GUYS

Go! Go! Go!

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS. 

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT 

SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP

WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????

ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE

I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.

OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG

THIS WORKs I WISHED I WAS MOVING TO NORTH CAROLINA AND GUESS WHAT GUYS IM MOVING TO NC IN AUGUST I PROMISE U IM NOT LYING

guys ok ur probably thinking that this is all just bs right? WELL I THOUGHT SO TOO BUT I WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD CHAT ME AND HE DID AND IM FREAKING OUT not even kidding i swear on my grampas grave this works

I love this it always works for me yey thank u shooting star :’)

woah the notes let’s hope my wish comes true

ok I know this stuff seems fake but literally nothing could hurt in trying it! :)

thats it, this is the funniest addition to any of my posts ever

“Salt and Pepper Diner is John Mulaney’s funniest bit” is Xanax/Prostate Exam erasure and I will not stand for it

The overlooking of “The One Thing You Can’t Replace” is a criminal act.

HOW COULD YOU NOT SAY DELTA AIRLINES????

Bill Clinton Never Forgets A Bitch, Ever

The responses to this post have been so amazing because it’s reminded me, and I’m sure many others, of just how many hilarious bits John Mulaney has other than s&pd

okay, but eighth graders

….. could be a nursery.

being 12 years old on anotger continent is a great alibi

“Why buy the cow, question mark?”

THAT TALL CHILD LOOKS TERRIBLE

LOOK AT THAT HIGH WAISTED MAN, HE GOT FEMININE HIPS

hello? HUSH

Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs.

The comments are just a list of a hundred different bits that made everybody laugh,and that’s how you know John Mulaney is a legend in his own time.