The Great Nyehehe!!

Good day, mortals!! The Great Nyehehe, the once villainous Immortal Warlock Lord and the most evil and powerful being in the entire universe, has seen the error of his vile ways!! Nevermore shall he twirl his malicious moustache, obliterate any mortal that opposed his nefariousness, or commit a deed as dastardly as snatching sugary treats from infants or walking on the grass despite the nearby sign’s demands not to. 

 His burning hatred and enviousness of the Light has faded away, leaving him to become a loyal and devout Paladin. Casting off the sins of his past and supercilious name, he has since renamed himself to “The Good Hohoho”. 

Rather than committing dastardly deeds and scheming up evil plots, The Good Hohoho will, henceforth, be seen helping little old ladies walk across the street..,

Feeding the homeless and destitute in Westfall..,

Holding one-on-one redemption classes for currently out-of-work demons..,

And, of course, praying to the Light at the Stormwind Cathedral. He will forever and always henceforth commit only undoubtedly righteous and good deeds and-

JUST KIDDING, MORTAL FOOLS!! 

Nyehehe!! You have been tricked, mortal fools!!

Tricked!! Bamboozled!! Schmeckledorfed!! 

Did you foolishly think the Great Nyehehe would be doing any of that goodie-two-shoes balderdash!?! Nyet!! Never!! The Great Nyehehe is a villain!! And the most evil, powerful, and fashionable one at that, so don’t you mortals forget it!!

The Great Nyehehe hasn’t bothered to know what exactly it is about this accursed time of year that makes all you mortal go all lovey-dovey, mush gushy, goo goo-eyed and so much more irritating than usual, but he knows it must be stopped immediately!! Bah!!

So toss away your edible organs of cocoa and freshly amputated flowers!! Cancel your picnic with that sharp-eyed yet cretinous crusader and your hot date in Desolace with that goat-legged, horned floozy!! Anything to be free of this dratted tidings of romance and love!! 

If that accursed love is blind, why couldn’t the Great Nyehehe be as well!?! It’d spare him having to view all this dratted hearty-wahrtyness!!

Curses to love!! Curses to you counterproductive couples!! Curses to seasonally sky-rocketed makeup prices!! Curses to all that mush!! Bah!!

Well, mortals, it’s that time of year again!! The Great Nyehehe has successfully avoided being redeemed by the whole holly-jollyness of this doltish December season yet again this year, especially after that awful affair with those stumbling spirits, but alas!! After only a few days of lull after Winter Veil, during which all you mortals are right on back to your usual, non-cheery, chummy ways and all are reminded of Winter’s wickedness, well, the coming of the next, New Year just comes along and brings all that celebratory stupidity right on back!! One would think that the death of a Year would be a depressing, deflated day, but Nyet!! You mortals have to go on and celebrate it!! Bah!!

Oh, well, at least it’ll be over soon…

“Happy New Year, Nai-hee-hee! Do you have any New Year’s resolutions for the coming year, friend?”

Nyet, obviously. The Great Nyehehe is already perfect as he is… and it’s The Great Nyeh-heh-heh to you!! Bah!!

“Look at that! The clock will soon strike twelve ‘o clock, midnight, remarking the beginning of the New Year with a grand display of fireworks! Are you not thrilled, friend?”

That clock’s never worked, not in fourteen years. It still says it’s twenty-four minutes after nine. No mortal fool’s bothered to make it work, after all.

“Oh, really? Oh, well, at least it’ll be the New Year soon, whenever it is! Say, what year would that be at this point, Nai-hee-hee?”

The Great Nyehehe hasn’t bothered to check, actually. Some mortals say it’ll be year thirty-three, some other mortals say that’s far too short a time, that it’s thirty-eight or thirty-nine or whatever. Not even those dratted dragons time-tapping in Tanaris have given an outright answer, for evilness’s sake! The Great Nyehehe knows they’re all wrong anywhatsits, you’ve mortals have definitely been around for more than thirty-three years by now… right?

“Come, friend! We have no time to talk of time! The fireworks are about to start! Then, it’ll be the New Yea-”

Nyeh? That so? Nyehehe!! The Great Nyehehe hasn’t bathed since last year!!

“Oh, ha ha. I know this joke, but you did it wrong, I think. You are supposed to say that right after the clock strikes twelve, yes?”

Joke? What do you me-

“Hush, Nai-hee-hee, it’s starting!”

By Murry K. Rissmus

In the very early hours of Monday morning, Ms. Gnora Sprocketkazoo, aged 222, had awoken to the bumps of a human burglar attempting to take off with her festive feast and Winter Veil tree. When the burglar was asked why, he claimed to be the Great-Father Winter and was merely sprucing up her foodstuffs and decorations and fixing a broken light on her tree. Ms. Gnora then defended herself from the clearly dangerous man and kicked him in the shin thirty-seven times before sending for the local authorities. The Guard stormed in less than an hour afterward to arrest the still-sobbing burglar.

Ms. Sprocketkazoo had this to say on the matter, “I’m very distraught. I was planning on having a Winter Veil party, but after this I’m just too distressed to do so. I’m afraid I’ll have to drink all the liquor and eat all roasted boar and cookies by myself. Why, the Winter Veil tree isn’t even presentable now! If it weren’t for that long-nosed, mustachioed, scrawny old fool, I’d be showering in compliments and praises for my exquisitely decorated party!”

The accused man, known only as The Great Nyehehe, or by  terms inappropriate for children, is safely contained in the Stockades. When inquired, he swore that he’ll “eventually ruin that accursed holiday!” This was followed by several “Bah!”’s and two vows of revenge. The case is currently being evaluated for trial.

An original short poem performed by the Great Nyehehe on December 22nd, at the @stormwinduniv Literary Conclave. Merry Winter’s Veil!

It’s this cheery, feel-good season, When everyone’s hearts should be freezin’, Are instead aglow with a festively whimsical laughter,                                         Knowing they’ll soon get the gifts they are desperately after!

Villains of fire, with hearts of ice Seem to every Winter Veil go nice! They waste time on family, and love, and cheer, When they could be spreading hate and fear! They waste time and gold on gifts, trees, and rings, When they could be doing evil, dastardly things! Oh, how it’s ruined the classic ne'er-do-well! How it’s soiled monsters and demons of fel! How they’re swayed by love and a jingle bell! How these dastardly Villains have fallen asunder To that accursed, foolish, Winter Veil blunder!

How nefarious evil do-ers would so easily yield, Not to spell or curse or to sword and shield, But to being holly and jolly, and to mistletoe. How you seasonal fools make friend out of foe! How you invite those who wish you to die, To Winter Veil Goose, Stuffing, and Pie!

Oh, how it’s ruined the classic ne'er-do-well! How it’s soiled monsters and demons of fel! How they’re swayed by love and a jingle bell! How these dastardly Villains have fallen asunder To that accursed, foolish, Winter Veil blunder!

But the Great Nyehehe would never stoop so low,                                             to loving and making merry in this accursed snow!                                               Never shall his black heart three sizes grow!                                                   Even if you invite him to a party, a gathering, a feast…                                     The Great Nyehehe wouldn’t change his evil ways in the least!

The Great Nyehehe most likely had no soul, With a twirly moustache the color of coal And the beaky nose of a troll. The Great Nyehehe was an idiot they say He was made of hate, but the scholars debate just why he is that way. There clearly was no decency in that fool that bummed around, For when his nasty plots unfurled wrong, He began to storm around! - The Great Nyehehe Was wicked as he could be, And the children say he could cackle all day And twirl his moustache villainously.

The Great Nyehehe Thought he’d rule the world someday, So he said “I’ll commit crime, Almost all the time, And I’ll conquer the world that way!!” - Down to the village, With an old staff in his hand, Running here and there, All around the square barking “Try to catch me, but you can’t!!” He ran on down the streets of town, Right to the paladin-knight, And he only paused a moment when The Paladin said “Praise the Light!” -

Thwackety-Thwack-Thwack!! Thwackety-Thack-Thwack!! Look at how he goes. Thwackety-Thwack-Thwack!! Thwackety-Thack-Thwack!! Wacking the paladin’s toes!

I don’t want a lot this Winter Veil There is just one thing I demand. I don’t care about World Peace For the mortal fools across the Land!!

I just want to conquer the universe. I don’t care whose lives get worse. Make my wish come true… All I want for Winter Veil  is your doom!!

-

I don’t want a lot for Winter Veil. There is just one thing I demand. And I don’t care for yuletide tidings, I just want unlimited power in my hand!!

I don’t need to hang my stocking There upon the fireplace. Greatfather Winter won’t sate my bloodthirst, He’ll just shove some coal into my face!!

I just want the universe for my own, More than you could ever know. Make my wish come true… All I want for Winter Veil is your doom!! Doooooom, baby!!

-

Oh, I won’t ask for much this Winter Veil, Not even to boil any jolly old fart, That goes about with “Mery Winter Veil” on his lips And bury him with a stake of holly in his heart!!

I won’t wish for the betterment of others, I’d rather wish for myself instead, I won’t even send any postcards, To what once were friends and family but are now undead.

‘Cause I just want the universe tonight, Ruling with an iron fist so tight. What more can I do? Baby, all I want for Winter Veil is your doom!! Doooooom, baby!!

-

They say The Light’s grace is here and everywhere And the sound of Paladins praying fills the air. And everyone is singing, But soon it’ll be pain I’m be bringing!! GreatFather Winter won’t you give me what I really need? Won’t you hurry up and give the Universe to me!?!

Oh, I don’t want a lot for Winter Veil. This is all I’m asking for: I just wanna see myself Ruling the Universe forevermore!!

Oh, I just want the Universe for my own, More than you could ever know. Make my wish come true. Baby, all I want for Winter Veil is your doom!! Doooooom, baby!!

-

All I want for Winterveil is your Doom, baby!!

All I want for Winterveil is your Doom, baby!!

All I want for Winterveil is your Doom, baby!!

All I want for Winterveil is your Doom, baby!!

All I want for Winterveil is your Doom, baby!!

*❄️ - ‘A Winter Veil Carol’ Master Post - ❄️ *

I am sincerely displeased to announce the coming of a five-part series of posts parodying the often-retold cautionary tale of Charles Dickens’s famous novel, A Christmas Carol, unfortunately starring the invidious, self-proclaimed incredibly powerful and evil “Immortal Warlock Lord”, The Great Nyehehe!! It’s good, festive fun for 1/5th of the whole family! Groan in awe as the old madman is subjected to the seasonal teachings of the spirits of Winter Veil Past, Present, and Yet to Come! Will our most unvaliant villain of a hero redeem himself in the eyes of the holiday’s tidings of joy and god will to all men (and some orcs)? You’ll have to find out!

So keep your eyes open for each post, and “merry Winter Veil!”

Schedule is as follows, with links provided to each post. This post will be updated with each new chapter posted. Current status: 5/5 posted. Done!

Part 1:  Was posted on 12/3/17!

Part 2:  Was posted on 12/8/17!

Part 3:  Was posted on 12/13/17!

Part 4:  Was posted on 12/18/17!

Merry Christmas, and happy Winter Veil to all!! I’m afraid I had completely forgotten about all of The Great Nyehehe’s earlier escapades and merry misadventures that have happened thus far this entire month of December. The Winter Veil Carol project is just about two years old now, but it’s probably my favorite of all my Nyeh-related seasonal stories, so I wanted to start off with it. I was planning to reblog each of them individually, but I’d hate to clog your dashboards with more Nyeh-related nonsense far past its expiration date, so I decided I’d just reblog the masterpost of Nyeh’s pathetic parody of Charles’s Dickens’ A Christmas Carol and let you read them for yourselves if you feel inclined.