PUNIC WARS THREE

Every time you add another punic war to this post a time traveller goes back and makes it real for the bit

Cooking horror game where you play as a cook working in the galley of a ship in the 1800s. There’s some kind of supernatural nautical horror story going on in the background but you barely notice this because you spend all day cooking in the galley.

As the game goes on you have to cook for fewer and fewer people but their orders--and the ingredients they bring you--become increasingly unhinged

There's also a dude named Doctor Warlock, this is HP Lovecraft Fan Fiction that Tom Baker stumbled into

There's also a dude named Doctor Warlock, this is HP Lovecraft Fan Fiction that Tom Baker stumbled into

rich people are so boring. Private jets for intra-US travel? if i was a multimillionaire I’d have my own old timey gilded train car and take my sweet ass time going everywhere. sorry, you won’t see my ass for 5-7 business days while I’m going through the mountains with no cell service but a well paid private chef that specializes in gluten free cuisine, bye

Never mind the train I’m going by dirigible!!

Oh my god don’t tempt Taylor to get into dirigibles, we’re going to have SO many catastrophic wrecks raining fire from the heavens

the thing about me is i get hannibal and hamilton confused

the most fucked up fictional universe is all those mouse movies where mice have a secret society underneath human society where they’re fighting mouse versions of the same wars and have the same religious oppression and each have a human version of themselves

Mouse Opium

"kill them with kindness" wrong. mongoose in the desk drawer, inflatable octopus in the closet, boxing kangaroo attack, magic cowbell. egg.

i feel so bad for nikola tesla like imagine spending years beefing with a guy who has conned the public into believing he's some sort of supergenius when in reality it's his overworked employees developing all of his world-changing inventions and you end up dying broke and starving and alone and then 100 years later another guy cons the public into believing he's some sort of supergenius when in reality it's his overworked employees developing all of his world-changing inventions and he's doing it all IN YOUR NAME. he must be rolling in his grave like a fucking rotisserie chicken

His ghost is setting those cars on fire actually

I hadn’t really considered “the agnostic demigod of electromagnetism is the reason Musk’s companies fail” before, but I like the concept. 

Let’s help him out. Likes charge, reblogs cast

tbh i think its crazy that i went from having everyday adult supervision to like none at all my parents just went damn your going to college. bye see you in year

im walking my ass to stores and they dont have a clue

no one stopping me from buying a little treat. (the treat is a bowl)

I'm in my mid-30s and I still can't get over how I bought a chainsaw from the hardware store and have been using it to chop down tree branches and nobody stopped me.

hey wait a minute........i could also buy a chainsaw

They just let you do it

every post i see that's like "if you're scared of being like [bad person] that's means you're better than them and won't be like them" and it's like. lmao. my dad used to have crying sessions where he would confess his fear of being like his mother and causing me to grow up to hate him. usually after he did something fucking awful, to redirect the attention to his own pain. the girl who sexually assaulted me had panic attacks sometimes about the idea of maybe being a rapist, making it impossible to set sexual boundaries with her without her freaking out. whether you're afraid of being some kind of bad person has basically no bearing on whether you are that way

what they dont tell you about adulthood is that it’s startlingly easy to go long periods of time without having any fun at all not even a little bit. btw this causes ur brain to try to kill you with knives and hammers.