Wizard Legs

sorry i can’t go out tonight i’m at home sitting down

oh man the painting on this drawing is insa- fuck do you mean #minecraft build

they should make a sleep that feels like you’ve slept

boobs should have a toggle on/off feature

the mexican football team has a 17 yrs old player and one of the funniest outcomes of this is that he cannot appear in any ad for gambling or drinking so he only appears in candy and milk advertisements. his first world cup and he's not even legally allowed to drive. his nickname is "morita" (little berry). he's three apples tall.

Soccer players are the horses of men’s sports. They run around in fields for hours on end. They stub their toe and they die. They fall and they die. They run into each other and

The Masc of Amontillado

I love you, crowsfeet; I love you, gray hairs; I love you, sun spots; I love you, smile lines; I love you, crinkle between my eyebrows; I love you, crooked smile; I love you, visible signs of a life lived

when i was 13 i made up a group of ocs who were gifted the ability to teleport but with caveats that made it really irritating for them and everyone else. i can’t remember all of them but two. one of them could only pass from place to place through water. they could jump into something as small as a cup of tea and come out the other side through a puddle or something but notably they did get wet. so any time they teleported anywhere they arrived soaking wet. they had to go everywhere with a waterproof paddling bag as a purse. the other could only teleport between occupied bathrooms. any bathroom in the world was fine but it had to be in use. they could just ask a friend to go in first and cheat it that way but in an emergency they’d just have to barge in on someone with their eyes closed and yell “SORRY! SORRY!” and disappear immediately from existence.