Too gay to function

don’t bite the hand that fingered you or whatev they say

yeah yeah yeah mortifying ordeal of being known and all that but sometimes a friend mentions something about you that you didn’t think was noticeable and it feels like your heart is being cradled in their hands

after careful consideration i’ve decided to become an abomination

you put that back in your mouth we're on a prophesy boycott untill shit get sorted or untill people start prophesying something more pleasant

Biggest failing of the internet is that in order to be vibing with my friends I have to actually be talking to them. I socialize like a cat I just show affection by sitting next to you. Ily but sometimes I have Nothing to say. Not a damn thing going on in my head

I don't want to "have" a "conversation" I want to peel an orange and share it with you

i wish i was 12 and someone just gave me a barnes and nobles gift card for my bday

Ma’am… the whore is coming from inside the house…

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.

Can haz snackytreat

i kissed a ghoul and i liked it…… the taste of her scary chapstick

me at ten: the home depot lights section is a significant place for me emotionally