Mothman

the past tense of onion ring is onion rung

glory hole but I'm just feeding a spool of fruit by the foot through it

five guys burgers and fries and they're kissing

hey sorry to interrupt but Gwen Stefani asked me to tell you to *checks note* "get your freak on?" whatever that means.

*animorphing but I turn into a rock*

call me an egg the way I always came first ☝️☝️☝️

I bet soldiers in the 1700s were serving piping hot tea during the 5 minutes it took them to reload those old timey muskets

don't look a gift horse in the mouth? what if there's another tiny horse with its own tiny gift in there?

whenever a new site prompts me to verify my age, I submit a picture of my butthole. it never works, but it sends a message.

shout out all my Palestinian and Iranian homies ✌️