Megpie

gothic horror rlly is just. aw fuck look at what youve done. the house has inherited your inter-generational trauma and in response has transformed itself into a metaphorical device to track the decay of the family. we're never gonna pay off that mortgage now

i love the pedestrian-to-car staredown when you see them go from a rolling stop to a full stop. like that's what the fuck i thought. vehicularly manslaughter me about it

it’d be so funny if when u died u got a ranking for a random category like “person who gave the best advice in the year of 2013 amongst all of humanity” or “most annoying person ever in actual existence since 1986″ or “person who ate the most cinnamon buns in a row for more than 5 years since the invention of cinnamon buns” 

“masks ruined my life” yeah i’m sure the dying of covid didn’t ruin the lives of people who died and their families/loved ones. the complications from catching it didn’t ruin anyone’s life. YOU are the one who suffered the most. Out of all of this. by being required to wear a mask in places for all of the like three weeks it was required. during which you probably had it under your nose. you deserve a medal

“it’s sooo uncomfortable to wear :(” i’d imagine dying is worse. lifelong health issues and medical bills caused by the virus probably too. but who’s to say!

I love cats they're just like "I love you." *walks all over your entire body*

Funniest thing about Crimson Peak is that the ghosts are trying to help but they have the misfortune of being visually terrifying and unsightly so it constantly turns into the “WHY ARE YOU RUNNING??” vine

brand new used car

you bitches better hope that twitter doesn’t actually die because that means that i’m going to be taking all of my excess random thoughts and putting them here instead of on my nice quiet locked account which means i’m going to be subjecting you to like 9-15 posts a day like “anyone else think young kyle machlachlan looks like a butch lesbian” or “what if tony soprano was bisexual” or “i have a mosquito bite” 

trying to brandify your personhood will make u miserable

there’s a very specific aesthetic i’m going for on this blog and it’s called cool things i like

my mutuals can sexualise me a lil, if they want

I don't want people to Consume My Content I want people to enjoy reading something I wrote for fun if they are so inclined. I don't want to Consume Content in fandom I want to enjoy stories and make friends

The really weird autistic sweet spot where you just say things you think and people find you super funny