looking for friends who like to get spun

So utterly alone, and my heart actually physically hurts in my chest, and my eyes are blurry with the tears that I'm trying to hold back but can't anymore, and there's this aching scream in my chest and throat that just wants to come out, and it's physically hurting having to hold it in, I just want to scream why? Why did you do this to me? Why did you leave me here all alone to rot without you? You fell in love with the girl you found on Tumblr, and then slowly piece by piece, decided to take her apart, change her, because who she was, that same girl from Tumblr, wasn't good enough for you, she wasn't actually the girl you wanted. You let me fall in love with you, knowing that you didn't want me. WHY? You took me apart and rearranged all of my pieces, and now they don't fit. I don't fit, ANYWHERE. I'm so fucking alone right now, and I just want the pain to stop, and it won't . You did this to me. And you could care less. You don't care about the damage you've caused. You don't care if I live or die. And you never will.