Run for your lives!

“I used the same adjective twice in the span of six chapters. One’s gotta go.”

“Why is everyone sighing?”

“The characters talk like they’re having high tea with the queen.”

“Is it spelled right, or did autocorrect finally give up on me?”

“That’s right.”

“At the request of a princess.”

“Right again.”

“And you, who will be leading the expedition, are also a princess.”

“You’re very perceptive.”

“How big is your royal family, again?“

“We don’t have one.”

“But–“

“We overthrew our monarchy centuries ago, but we kept most of the titles around. The rank of ‘princess’ is held by the directors in charge of various civil service branches.“

“Huh. And the princess we’re rescuing today is in charge of…?”

“Public sanitation.”

“The Lord of Death’s Dominion kidnapped your public sanitation director?”

TiL (click to go to the thread, which probably has more interesting tidbits I missed).

Bonus:

old people: let me speak to your manager. This never would have happened in my day. And yet you all want the minimum wage raised. I’m going to kill you.

cashier: I’m sorry it’s going to be a 5 minute wait for your food

So I walk past the woman and put money in teen's tip jar. Haven't even gotten ice cream yet.

Woman looks at me. Turns back and yells some more with the teen. I put more money in the tip jar.

Not because people nowadays have poor work ethic or whatever, but because for the last decade or two, minimum wage employers have been following a trend of squeezing work hours to the absolute minimum. “Bring in half as many people and make them work twice as hard” kind of stuff. Of course, business owners have been doing something like that since forever, but with the aid of automation technology and algorithms designed to predict the minimum number of necessary labor hours for a given shift down to the minute, well, shit gets worse. 

apparently, a city renovated its park, and ended up putting a tree branch over a beloved path:

of course, this meant the path had become unusable, which is an utter tragedy, so an anonymous citizen did the rational thing and got up in the middle of the night, went to the park, and cut the branch in half using a chainsaw. 

so like.. this citizen should probably get arrested for destruction of public property right??? nah. the city just thought it was funny and even made a joke about it when the renovated park got-re opened. the only thing to come out of it was this photo, posted by a local news site:

The droghte of March hath perced to the roote

And bathed every veyne in swich licour,

Of which vertu engendred is the flour;

Whan Zephirus eek with his sweete breeth

Inspired hath in every holt and heeth

The tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne

Hath in the Ram his halfe cours yronne,

And smale foweles maken melodye,

That slepen al the nyght with open eye-

(So priketh hem Nature in hir corages);

Now is the winter of our discontent Made glorious summer by this sun of York; And all the clouds that lour’d upon our house In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.

Now are our lowest prices cut again; Our special value items made more special yet; And in the special sale on Thursday of next week, Will be reductions wond’rous to behold. Soft-furnished chairs reduced by more than half! And now, instead of paying when they leave, As would have happened in the older store, Our customers may take advantage, if they wish, Of discount cards for later charge.

There’s more! Our Children’s Section offers two for one, And in our Pets and Livestock you will find The cost of horses less than you expect. Bulk purchase in our fine wine-shop is better yet, Tower-brand Malmesey by the butt is best of all.

HOOPS

I feel like the hostility against recording Broadway shows has little to do with quality, and more to do with exclusivity. Generally speaking, I find that whenever you run into arguments about how nobody has a right to be able to access all of X Experience, you’ve found someone defending exclusivity, because the argument in question doesn’t really address the actual issue.

Tim Fucking Follin: Yeah I got ya, check this out.

Software Creations: *barely seconds in* Ohhh yes finally, something that isn’t an overwhelming banger. You done good, Mr. Follin.

Tim Fucking Follin: *waits for it*

Software Creations: *ten seconds later*