fish tube euphoria

from like 9 to 12 i would try to fall asleep by ‘making’ a new seinfeld episode in my head. i would open with a jerry seinfeld standup bit that was almost nonsense (its not like i can write standup like he can at 10 years old) and then it would be jerry and george arguing about a girlfriend i made up with some kind of pointless issue (”she wears bigger pants than me, jerry! everyones gonna know, who wears the pants!”) and then kramer would walk in. by that time id be almost out

I should also say i was ‘typing’ out the dialogue with my hands as if they were on a keyboard, but my hands were across my chest like a vampire

How come no one’s talking about how Jerma came out?

I know we’re all like lawless nonconformists but you really can’t be texting and driving. that’s one of the ones you’ve gotta listen to for real

And like who the fuck is this guy [gestures to reflection in mirror alone in bathroom

hey guysss so unfortunately the rumors are true and im leaving the narrative. Buttt the good news is my absence will create such a gaping hole in your lives that it will become a sort of presence itself, and so in a way it will kind of be like i never left! But i am. Leaving just to be clear.

artists fuck better because we turn sex into art, masterpieces, mattresses become canvases where we can paint our love to someone with bodies.

its like, impossible to come up with anything funnier than the experience of seeing this post

pharoahs fuck better because they ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh put the pussy in a scarmophogoghs

I will do anything to be free

Even escape?

I dont know. Can i do that

$2.48

saw someone including "Mandate of Heaven" as one of those christian terms tumblr likes to use to sound profound. which i get where you're coming from but t☝️hat one is chinese

What does hate fuck mean ?

when hate someone so much you fuck them

it is actually so important to me to be alone at my house