Do you have any advice on doing it scared? I'm so scared all the time, i avoid doing anything that would make me more scared, but its the only advice anyone has ever given me. Your post hints you figured it out, somewhat? Do you have any further wisdom to pass?
I had to stop seeing fear as something I could run away from. Think of the situation you're in as a large, boxed room, and you're standing in front of the door to that room. You have to enter through the door, because you have to experience the situation to get to that room's exit (which is on the other side), and move on. Your fear is like the key to both doors - the entry as well as the exit. The thing is, it's a heavy key. For some reason, it's uncomfortable in your hands, and you know that opening the door would take a monumental amount of effort. You also feel like it's unfair that your rooms are locked at all, because other people don't even need keys. At least, you don't see them use any. If you wanted to, you could drop the key and turn around and forget about the room altogether, but you don't want that - because then you wouldn't be moving forward. You'd also rather open the door without the key, but to get to a situation where you no longer run into locked doors at all, you need to unlock this one, first. I started seeing it that way. My fear used to be a heavy key that I was embarrassed to need, but my unwillingness to stay where I was forever convinced me to bother, anyway. Later, my fear became a lighter key, and then a keypad, and now it's somewhat of a finger print ID. Most importantly, my fear is not what stops me, but like security if you really think about it. However much it annoys me, feels like it hinders me or embarrasses me at times, its most important function is that it's a tool that I use to open doors. I'm trying to forget others' lack of security systems and intricate doors, and focus on opening mine however I need to so I can move forward. Because that's the point. Moving forward. This makes perfect sense in my head but it might not in yours (it already feels really odd trying to put it into words so I wouldn't be surprised), but I really hope you get the gist ā” Fear = tool!
