I Will Break My Chains and Eat My Enemies

Brand New Day

Let’s be honest here, communicating during a spiral can feel near impossible.

Your brain is screaming, your body’s on fire, your thoughts are sprinting to every worst-case scenario you can think of.

You want to say what’s wrong but all that comes out is panic, blame, or silence.

So what do you do?

Step 1: Notice the Spiral.

The moment you feel yourself slipping, beginning to panic, desperate to beg for reassurance or lash out, name it. Acknowledge what is happening.

“I think I’m spiraling.”

That one sentence buys you clarity. It creates a pause.

Step 2: Pick a Clear Sentence.

When you’re in the thick of it, don’t overexplain. Keep it simple and kind. I personally find it helpful to plan out sentences in advance since I know what type of things I tend to feel during spirals.

“I’m having a lot of big feelings right now and I don’t want to take it out on you.”

“I’m scared and I don’t know what to do. Can we check in later when I’m calmer?”

“I need comfort, but I’m struggling to ask gently.”

Step 3: Delay the Damage.

If you feel the urge to text something extreme, try redirecting that energy or practicing urge surfing.

Write it down somewhere private

Set a timer for 15 minutes

Do one grounding thing (cold water, movement, breathing)

You don’t have to respond perfectly. You just have to create some space so that you can avoid making the spiral worse. (I know I spiral more if I accidentally give into an urge.)

Step 4: Come Back to Repair.

Spirals happen. Even with all the skills in the world. So if things got messy, that doesn’t mean all is lost.

You can say:

“I was overwhelmed earlier and I reacted from fear. I’m sorry.”

“Here’s what I needed. I want to work on asking for it more gently next time.”

Making plans together to recognize triggers and how to handle situations in the future can be helpful. Instead of punishing yourself, learning from it and accepting mistakes happen.

A spiral doesn’t make you unworthy. Communication in distress takes practice and you aren’t a failure if you don’t get it or fall back sometimes. You are not a disaster. You are someone learning how to stay kind even when your brain is screaming.

An additional option I use often for BPD related spiralling or splitting episodes is flashcards (digital or physical)

I made a set of digital flashcards that say basic and common phrases like this that I can use when I'm spiralling and go nonverbal

A lot of them say something of the like: "I'm overstimulated" "I feel jealous" "I'm upset about something" and disclose if I need time or space or reassurance about something, and that when I have a clear head I can explain better how my mood dropped

I have not managed to find anyone who thinks that in the wild, but it is so damn funny.

found this in one of the news articles

So the owner’s name was Dean Ripa, and he died in May 2017. His wife, Regina Ripa, was found to be unable to distinguish right from wrong at the time of the murder, was ruled not guilty by reason of insanity, and was committed to a psychiatric care facility instead of being convicted. In real life, this is an extremely rare ruling, and from what I read, she had a history of instability where she suffered from delusions and paranoia. When law enforcement had come out to the residence earlier that day because of a call she made, Dean, her husband, did in fact tell the officers she was genuinely unwell and needed to take her medication.

Their child was, at the time, three, and was unharmed in the incident. As the child was the rightful owner of Dean Ripa’s estate, the Serpentarium was unable to remain open legally. Being a child, they were unable to legally hold the necessary permits for the snakes their father had on the premises. A family friend had attempted to keep it going, but it looks like it was legally too complicated.

There was an article written about the site and Dean Ripa himself in the Oxford American that was posted posthumously. It provides a lot of detail and background on Dean Ripa, who was, to put it mildly, an intense man.

Other useful AI Removal/Detection links

How to spot AI Hallucinations like a Reference Librarian (originally on Substack)

Eminent domain requires payment.

The government cannot come in and merely seize your land under eminent domain and pay you nothing. There is a process & they have to pay you market value for your land and the buildings on it. A couple of my former clients went through this about 15 years ago when the 202 Bypass went through in Montgomery & Bucks County in Pennsylvania. Their houses and land were taken via eminent domain so that the highway could be built, but, I need to say this again: they were paid.

They were paid and there was a process in which they were informed ahead of time. They didn't just drive home one day and find out their home had been snatched, too bad, so sad, no money for you, you should have put your house in a bank vault.

Just taking someone's shit like that without compensation has a name, and it's not eminent domain or anything like it:

It's fucking theft.